For the fashionista who just doesn’t have time to get jammed full of cock, here’s a pair of Blackberry earrings for you. Classier than a pair of zippers, these will symbolize your commitment to your device and undying love for it. The next time you’re popping a squat on the toilet with these on and your Blackberry device in your hand, I want you to remember that you’re a total RIM job.
Zing!
Who needs friends when you’ve got all these ports! If you worked in the AV club in high school or do that shit for a living now, this shirt was made for you. It resembles the back of an expensive McIntosh receiver as far as my eye can see.
You’ve gotta be one fat fucking loser to want to tattoo “Wel-come to the social” on your shoulder. It looks like some five-year old tattoo artist did it, or at least thought up the idea. It’s bad enough it’s the Zune slogan, but even worse: it’s a terrible slogan. Considering no one bought the Zune except this guy and four other people leaves little to be desired in regards to being welcomed to the social. Thanks for welcoming me, now where’s the exit?
Long time Zune fanatic Mszunefan is not the only one looking for the exit. He posted on Zunescene:
“I am done. I have had the Zune since day 1 and have noticed little improvement. I have tried my best to support them every step of the way but the recent Xbox Live announcement at E3 made me lose it. To not include Zune Marketplace or the ability to load videos from Xbox Live to your Zune made me finally give up. I am in the works of figuring the best way to get a new tattoo to cover the logo on my arm. Thanks for all the harsh comments and you will see very little of me anymore.”
Note to self: never tattoo a lousy corporate logo and a terrible slogan to match, onto my skin. I’ll only cover them up later with the latest Microsoft OS logo.
Needless to say a hacker conference can take a lot out of a geek. That’s why this chill spot was put in. It makes watching the conferences upstairs relaxing, while hanging around in a hammock. If you had a computer you could partake in the humorous messages that would appear at the bottom of the screen displaying the speeches. The folks at the conference provided a web link that turned the hammock chill spot into a slew of comments displayed at the bottom of the screen from anyone using the site. “My ass hurts” and “there is a dildo missing from the art display” were two of the funnier comments made as everyone lounged around fiddling with their laptops.
If you can’t even sit upright in a chair while on a computer without bitching about back problems, you might need the Lazy Geek’s Cushion. Why lie on a bed when this adjustable cushion can have you reading web comics on any filthy floor in the world.
With this cushion, one could even use their laptop on the floor of a filthy gas station lavatory to become a real Twitter shitter. It’s lightweight (if your back can handle it, you pussy) and portable.
So like I mentioned before, any floor in the world. Think about it.
Link (via)
Have you recently chucked up the deuce and then popped bottles? Of course you have, my nigga, because you’re gangsta. However, roaming the streets near Drexel University or Carnegie Mellon might leave you vulnerable to SYN attacks and looped beatings. Consult this geek gang sign chart to throw up the correct signs. Get your Rails boys over to ya crib and throw down on them Perl fuckaz.
Now you’re a player. Don’t fsck it up.
If and when you see a hottie wearing this binary nail polish, she might be one of two things: a keeper or a tranny. Either way, be on the look out as she’s probably using the nail polish to lure unsuspecting geeks back to her dorm where she’ll bang you then devour your soul like the succubus she truly is. That or she’ll try to make you do her calculus.
You could be the biggest nerd ever and still have trouble telling someone the time with this watch. I mean just because you still play Doom doesn’t mean you can form sentences in binary code, right? Fine, I’ll admit it. I’ve been too lazy as of late to learn binary. That’s why you deserve this fine Binary Watch from a company no one’s ever heard of.
The watch tells time via two rows of LED lights that are either on or off. The top row is the number of hours and the bottom, the number of minutes. It’s water resistant in case you spill a bottle of JOLT all over it and can probably take a bit of a beating during a heated LAN party. Just remember to brush up on binary before plunking down $200 on it.
There is an entire sub-culture of geeks who live in a world of Speedcubing. For you not of the geek persuasion, Speedcubing is the attempt to solve the Rubik’s cube as fast as humanly possible, sometimes in extreme situations, such as blindfolded and underwater. Available now in Japan is this Pro Rubik’s Cube Kit, which comes with all you need to be on the path to speedcubing glory.
The art of speedcubing is more complex then meets the eye. The Pro Rubik’s Kit comes packed with a removable tile which reveals a special hole for adding in the included lubricant and for readjusting the tension in the mechanism. All of these factors are what lead to solving a Rubik’s in seconds. — Andrew Dobrow
