Gearfuse

Instead of rolling a pair of dice to see who goes first in Monopoly, why don’t you use a pair of hard boiled eggs? I guarantee they’re a lot tastier than the dice. Winner gets to eat the dice, as long as they don’t mind their eggs to be rolling around on some random surface.

The Egg Cuber boils your egg into a cube-shape, allowing your meal to be unique but still completely edible. Some people might not dig the idea of eating cubed eggs. But why not? It might not be “natural”-looking, but we’re sure it’s just as tasty. Plus, they’re part of a complete breakfast.

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Whenever I go camping I have to make sure I have enough room for all of my various openers. A bottle cap opener for the beer, can opener for the beans, a bottle twister for the antacid.

So you can imagine my extreme excitement (it involved jumping up and down, shouting and a changed pair of shorts. I love my gadgetry) whenI came across this 5 in 1 Auto Safety Master Opener which promises to open all of my canned and bottled goods with the help of only one device. Seems like a real space saver. Grab your own for around $20.

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The Shadow Caddy is helpful in that “I’m always watching you” stalkerish sort of way. Rather than hiring some lazy and pathetic pile of human flesh to disappoint you with his sub-par caddying skills, the hands-free Shadow Caddy follows you effortlessly by tracking a transmitter which is simply snapped right onto your belt.

Plus, it really wants to make sweet robot love to your sister. And to do that, it has to earn the family’s trust. RoboRape is always a last resort. It’s one of Asimov’s rules of robotics, seriously.

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While you’re sure to get some strange looks from both sneering fashionistas and mildly frightened parents, you can’t help but enjoy the honesty of this t-shirt. You might not get a confidence boost from acknowledging the fact that you have more toys than a 12-year-old Japanese school girl, but anything else would simply be a lie.

If us geeks are known for anything, it’s our complete and utter honesty when it comes to our geekery.

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Here’s another way to clean up that cluttered mess of cords by your power outlet: outlet covers with deer antlers on them for holding gadgets while they charge. They can also be used like the ninja cord bunny and wrap up any loose wire laying around the floor. You could even go the extra mile and hang up your house keys.

If you’re feeling extra daring, you could also use the antlers as holders for your silverware. You’re just asking someone to get shocked, but think about the convenience of a fork on every socket in your household. It’d make eating ramen noodles a breeze anytime, anywhere!

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Check out this USB “hand warmer” stick. It doesn’t have the finger grips that the other USB hand warmer has, but it costs a dollar more. Strange.

Oh, who am I kidding. This thing is as much for your hands as a monitor is for your head. In truth, this is a covert dildo for pleasuring either yourself, a loved one or maybe even a one night stand. The fact of the matter is, you never know when a heated dildo will come in handy.

C’mon, this isn’t exactly a beanbag-looking hand warmer. This is a stick. Not just any regular stick, either. It’s curiously shaped to fit every orifice of the human body. It’s great for vagina, too. I don’t know about you, but a $12 dollar heated dildo is as cheap as they come. I would know – I own two.

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“Hi, I’m Vic Mackey from FX’s hit television show – The Shield. I’ve pawned off my traditional handbag in favor of something a little more…what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh, right, tech. I got this e-Volve Gadget Shoulder Holster because I was sick and tired of street gangs pocketing my iPhone. It’s got two pouches for easy access to my personal electronic gadgets, a zippered pouch to control loose items such as change, rubbers, and memory cards, a quick-release key chain holder and an elastic pen holder. The entire pouch is conveniently positioned underneath my arm. I don’t care how large your Peruvian drug ring is, you’re not taking my gadgets.

What’s that? You want my holster? Tough shit, get your own. They’re only $69.95. Good cop and bad cop have left for the day. I’m a different kind of cop. The tech kind of cop.”

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It really stinks when you’ve run out of energy for your gadgets and can’t get to an outlet. With Orange’s Dance Charge, outlets are a thing of the past. It’s a portable phone charger powered through the kinetic movement of the wearer. Held within the arm strap is a battery for storing all the dance-generated energy.

So, to build up juice for powering your gadgets, all you need to do is shake your ass and show everyone your sweet dance moves. Though only a prototype, the Dance Charge is sure to come waltzing into the arms of every over-energized Dance Dance Revolution enthusiast in the world.

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Turn that old hideous tie your Grandmother gave you into something you’d actually use: a case for your iPod. Sure, you could use it for a slim cellphone and other small gadgets-or you could put some weed in it considering that the possibilities are endless.  You could make your own, but why struggle with the fact that you can’t sew and that the Tie Gadget Holder is only $16 bucks. That’s a small price to pay for an eye-popping case.
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If you have a job where interviewing is as common as an Obama “Hope” ad campaign and you just so happen to always have your laptop on you, you might find the Narae Recorder Mini right up your alley. Finally, a reason to get rid of that old digital recorder you’ve never used (unless it also does video.)

The Narae Recorder Mini is insanely small. It plugs into any standard mic jack and doesn’t stick out more than 3″ max. Don’t let its small size fool you, as the Bluetooth wannabe recorder can record sounds up to 32 feet away. This makes it a great gadget for recording people who don’t know they’re being record. Lawsuit? Blackmail? Espionage? This thing’s got more uses than meets the eye!

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