Gearfuse

I need some sort of carb with every meal, which probably explains why I’m overweight. If I’m eating meat, you best believe it’s going to be wrapped between two hunks of bread. But here’s my dilemma. Some people don’t understand my need for carb goodness. Some of my friends are so gung-ho about carbs that they don’t even own any bread products. That’s just not working for me.

That’s why whenever I go to my carb-hating friend’s place I know need to slip on my Bread Slippers. No offerings of sweet, beautiful carbs? Just rip a hunk off of your footwear. Mmm, mmm, filling.

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We like to get down on Friday’s with the best of them. And what better way to get down then to celebrate the greatness of cheese sculpting? I know I’m excited!

These sculptures make my feeble attempts at sculpting a cheese penis out of my measly string cheese look like pure amateur play. Cheddar happens to be my favorite, and I’ve never been one to hesitate eating a U.S. president when I have the chance. As it turns out, cheese sculpting has its own dedicated niche. Very dedicated.

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If it tastes anything close to how it looks you can expect the distinct flavor of urine and taxi exhaust. Mmm… urban.

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I don’t know how I would react if I came home to this on the kitchen table. Should I vomit? Should I sit down and savor the dish and then maybe call the cops? I’m not sure.

I’ve eaten some weird shit in my day, but this might be crossing the line.

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Blame it on my decades of eating burger in patty form, but there is just something intrinsically wrong with eating a hamburger in the shape of a hot dog. It just feels so… wrong, no?

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I’m always sort of embarrassed asking for chopsticks when I’m at a Japanese restaurant. I can almost hear the server’s thoughts: “Stupid fucking Americans, shitting all over our customs.” Though I’d hear something more like “Ayaaaa ching chong hiiiih arigato Mr. Roboto.”

And in a way, we really are shitting all over their customs. And this Chopsticks Plus One and Two concept doesn’t do much to clean our image. Combining chopsticks, a spoon, a sauce bowl and toothpicks (the essential makings of any American dining experience) these chopsticks make eating Japanese food less traditional, but a hell of a lot easier.

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Diarrhea on a bun. Deliciously scrumptious, geeky diarrhea. Wakka wakka.

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Sure, we’ve seen better looking cakes. Much better looking cakes. I’ll give you that. But the messiness of this Left 4 Dead cake has its own sort of charm. It actually sort of fits in with the games seediness. Actually, that might be the point. So, yeah, don’t listen to me.

Featuring chocolate frosting and a marzipan hand. Om nom nom.

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OM NOM NOM! I’ll rock these in my Cheeseburger Bed and call it dinner.

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No, that isn’t just the work of some handy alliteration. Although, this post does happen to be brought to you by the letter “R.”

The Fuamen Ramen restaurant  in Nagoya, Japan is manned by a team of robots who expertly prepare the customers’ bowls of noodles. The owner claims that the benefits of using robots are the consistency of taste and the accuracy in their timing. Just wait until they start adding nuts and bolts to the recipe. Check out a vid and the finished product after the jump.

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