Gearfuse

In the past few years, I’ve been flying a lot more than I used to. I think I speak for everyone when I say that the TSA’s screening process is a big pain in the ass. You’ve got to take off your shoes and leave your laptop out of a bag unless it’s in a bag that doesn’t obstruct the X-ray machine’s view. Tom Bihn’s Checkpoint Flyer Laptop Bag fixes all that. It’s a solid messenger bag with plenty of storage and it features a detachable part just for your notebook, which will get you on your flight a lot faster.

At $220, it’s a little expensive but could be worth it for the frequent traveler. Click through for a huge, elaborate review of the bag.

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Is this a spy cam created by the military or is it Batman’s latest gadget? Of course it’s a piece of technology made by the military; Batman is a fictitious comic book character. The Army has awarded the University of Michigan College of Engineering a five year $10 million dollar grant to develop this robotic spy plane which bears an uncanny resemblance to a bat.

It’s called the COM-BAT and it’s concept was conceived by the US military for the purpose of gathering real-time data for soldiers. The folks behind the design are also huge fans of The Dark Knight. It’s a six-inch surveillance device that is powered by solar, wind and vibrations. So much for my idea of bat droppings as fuel.

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I know a lot of you out there are nuts about flying. It’s an expensive hobby, but someone’s got to do it. How else would I be able to get to Bangladesh? If you’re crazy about flying and I mean straight loony about it, then you won’t be afraid to learn how to fly all by yourself. Just kidding. No one in their right mind would let you jump into the cockpit of a plane without hours of experience behind a simulator. That’s where the CAE 7000 Series full-flight simulators come in.

British Airways Executive Club members have access to these top-of-the-line simulators which offer a wrap-around display, seating for a full cockpit crew, automated vocal warnings and full motion feedback. Even better – if you decide you want one in your home, it only costs fourteen million dollars to have CAE install and maintain it for you. Start saving now, because we both know that Microsoft Flight Simulator and Afterburner aren’t getting you anywhere. Neither will this thing, but it’s a better start.

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Since the days of The Jetsons and even long before that, mankind has dreamed of a fully operational hybrid flying car.  What would be better than being able to go airborne as soon as you hit some traffic? Moller International, the company devoted to making an affordable flying car, has announced their latest creation, the Autovolantor.

The flying car, although said to be revolutionary, is only capable of flying for about 15 minutes at up to 150 MPH. It’s fast but what happens when time runs out? You share the same fate as Steve Fossett, that’s what. I can’t see this vehicle becoming a commodity in my lifetime, though one can always dream.

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Need that extra flair to add spunk to your upcoming Halloween bash in two months? How about a flying skull that, once attached to the ceiling, will fly in circles as it chomps away at the air. It’s on clearance for a measly $6, so now is a better time than ever to snag one for your party. It’ll go great with a garden zombie and a bloody Wii that’ll complete the “spooktacular” look you go for every October.

This thing looks oddly familiar, though. Where have I seen it before? Oh! It’s from Nightmare On Elm Street for the Nintendo. When you fall asleep the bats turn into flying skulls, just like this one! Hit the jump to see what I mean.

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It seems wind records aren’t the only vehicular-based records being broken this year. Pictured above is the 66-pound unnamed unmanned flying machine that broke a world record for the longest-lasting unmanned flight. It remained airborne for an unbelievable 83 hours and 37 minutes.

That’s three and a half days of non-stop flight thanks to it’s power source: lithium-sulfur batteries charged via solar panels during the day. The craft remained steady at a height of 60,000 feet while being flown by an autopilot guided by GPS. Who says you need a piloting license to operate an aircraft, let alone an actual pilot?

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While we aren’t at the point where we’ll be flying sky-high with cars like we’re the Jetsons, we’re getting there. The Parajet Skycar is the world’s first carbon-neutral flying car. In actuality, it’s a dune buggy with a parachute and propeller, able to reach altitudes as high as 15,000 ft.

If in the extreme circumstance the car stalls on you, well, you still got that parachute with ya’. It only takes about three minutes for it to go from land to air, which is faster than any commercial airline you’ll ever take. They’re planning to sell it for $70,000 dollars, unless of course air traffic control has something to say about it.

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Perhaps the greatest use of a remote controlled device in history: a flying penis flew into the middle of a speech from former chess master and Russian political activist, Garry Kasparov. It seems someone took the time to turn an RC helicopter into a flying cock.

After the security guard swatted it to the ground, Kasparov says, “I think we have to be thankful for the opposition’s demonstration of the level of discourse we need to anticipate. Also, apparently most of their arguments are located beneath the belt.” Someone in the audience shouts, “Finally the political power shows its face!” Kasparov quickly replies, “Well, if that’s its face…” to laughter from the audience.

A large flying penis that took nearly 20 seconds before someone decided to swat it out of the air. I’m pretty sure the last thing you’re going to want to do after seeing a flying penis is touch it. Hit the jump for video of the junk in action.

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What does an ex-fighter pilot do for thrills and kicks when he’s done shooting down krauts? He builds a unique rocket-powered flying machine, takes some opium and calls himself Fusion Man. Such is the life of 48-year-old Yves Rossy, the man behind the wings of his real-life Iron Man suit. Rossy is able to achieve speeds of 186 mph and altitudes of about 8200 ft.

It’s interesting how Fusion Man gets going on his wings. First, he jumps out of an airplane, after that, he coasts for awhile before igniting the four rockets on his wings. The entire time he is able to maintain complete control and even perform maneuvers like a 360 and barrel roll. All I want to know is how I can get my hands on one of these amazing suits. Who needs a FPV RC kit when you can become the airplane itself!

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Unless you find yourself mutated from a radioactive leak or something, the odds of flying without the aid of technology is looking pretty slim for the human race. Using the Jet Wing is about as close as you can get to solo flight without the aid of physical mutation. Jet Wing is a personal flying apparatus which will keep you flying horizontally at 115 mph for a few minutes before pooping out. The only problem is that the engines aren’t powerful enough to launch our massive bodies.

To use the Jet Wing, you have to jump out of a plane or off a cliff, at which point you’ll get a few glorious minutes of flight, before plummeting back to earth with the help of a parachute. Now, you can try doing this without the Jet Wing, but we definitely don’t recommend it. Make sure to have an ambulance and a hearse on hand if you give it a try. — Andrew Dobrow

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