Most people are clumsy others are just plain stupid. That’s why these $39 dollar Flower Fire Extinguishers exist. It’s for those wanna-be chefs out there that like to light oil and/or alcohol ablaze to explode the flavor of their creation but only ever ends in an explosion of fire in their face.

They look like decorative flowers but, much like the Transformers, they’re more than meets the eye. When you find yourself in the midst of a cooking fire you’ll need to think fast, that’s why these flowers have a magnet on them so they’ll cling to most surfaces around your stove. When that pan goes up in flames, simply place the flowers in it and they will work their magic, covering the oil with a disgusting film that prevents the breakout of the flames and ruins your appetite for dinner in the process. It beats burning alive because of someone’s clumsiness.

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Siberia. You’re locked in a vicious poker game worth a $5 million pot. The wind howls outside and wood creaks with every movement. You look at the host. You and him both know that it’s cold and a fire is in order. The fireplace is out of commission, though, so what are you going to do? You could reach for that portable fireplace but you’ll have to forfeit your hand.

Easy! I’ll whip out my tabletop fireplace from Apoll. Sure, it set me back like $675 and shipping but what’s money when you have the warmth of a fire gracing your frozen hands? With Sterno-like fuel and a glass and steel frame, you won’t have any trouble getting some heat out of this gadget.

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Fancy art? Same here. Whether it be an abandoned gas station gone quilt crazy or a Janis Joplin-looking smug face made up of 7,563 dice, we appreciate the artistic drive and innovative approaches to ideas that designers come up with. That’s why when I saw Dave Umlas’ sculpture I just HAD to write about it because like many idiotic cavemen, I am fascinated by fire.

The possibilities of fire are limitless. You can burn things, char things, sear things, scorch things and so much more. Dave Umlas likes to burn things. More specifically he likes to build sculptures out of stainless steel and burn the shit out of stuff with propane gas and forced-air jets. Or just make hot designs with it.

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What better way to “accidentally” burn down your home and all of your loved ones sleeping peacefully inside  than with this Travelmate portable fireplace by Conmoto. Oops! I didn’t mean to kick it over. Now all of my possessions are burning around me. The Mexico City fire fighting force does not approve. Good thing I have insurance. Alright, horrible thought, but what makes this portable fireplace noteworthy is it burns on bio-ethanol liquid fuel. It is a smokeless flame, preventing any chance of suffocation in the middle of the night while your hot boxing your room with one of these suitcase-looking fireplaces.

At $3,300, you better hope that insurance fraud bit you’re trying to pull will pay off. Otherwise, you’re down the three grand, all of your belongings, and are officially a single bachelor again. One who also happens to be homeless. If only that Porsche Cayenne fire truck got to your house faster.

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The picture above is Microsoft’s new fortress of solitude for Bill Gates. Just kidding, it’s actually a fire station in Mexico City. It was designed by the companies At 103 and BGP Arquitectura.  It’s not much of a looker during the day but at night, light shines through the slits in between the chrome-like plates for an impressive light show you’re guaranteed not to find at any other fire station.

Why such a fancy fire station? Well, it also serves as a recruiting center. As such, you’ve got to have an appealing environment if you want to attract heat-craving lifesavers that are not only crazy enough to wear a fire hose, but also crazy enough to take a job that’s about as dangerous as it gets.

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Now this isn’t your typical backpack, so don’t go filling up that trendy pontoon bag with charcoal and lighting it on fire. Lazzari has gotten it right with its new Baja BBQ Backpack. It’s a container made up of 100% recycled paper pulp and contains two pounds of charcoal.

In short, you grab your grill, throw the BBQ Backpack in there, light it on fire and in 20 minutes, you have a nice set of glowing coals to cook your meats and treats on. No price is available, but you should see these popping up in gourmet grocery stores (Whole Foods, Wegmans, Trader Joes) in the near future.

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“Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me.” said Max.

Actually, talk to Scott Cocking over at SpontaneousFire.com, ’cause if you have some strong legs, this DIY tri-cycle might be able to haul that tanker. OK, maybe it can’t haul a tanker full of gasoline even with the strongest of legs, but it does shoot fire and after all, isn’t shooting fire from your bike all you need to fend off scantily clad punks in the aftermath of nuclear devastation?

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Here’s an extremely awesome DIY kit for the exhaust system on your car.  Shoot up to 20 feet of flame right out of the tailpipe with the push of a button. Is this even legal? Arsonists everywhere would be drooling if it was legal. Tailgaters will surely learn their lesson from tailing someone with one of these installed. Getting away from the feds after you just pulled a bank heist will never be easier, but shooting flames out the rear-end of your car could help. Of course, it’ll just melt your trunk.

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Forest fires are morbid scenes. Sure, there are all of those precious woodlands which are destroyed, but more important, our homes and families are at risk. Enter the forest fire prevention robot, designed by Jordan Guelde. Smokey The Bear (or even OLE, the fire fighting beetle bot) ain’t got nothing on this tough mofo.

Using its vast array of hubless motors, and its integrated fuel system, the “Clear Cut” bot clears out vast amounts of foliage in order to control forest fires. No tree, bush, bunny, or deer is safe when this robot is on the prowl. All it understands is forest fire control and tree cutting. It also doesn’t happen to know the difference between people and trees. Muahahaha! (more…)

Actually, it’s not so much a ‘fire truck” as it is a “fire Porsche Cayenne S”—and it was spotted on the streets of Moscow. I suppose it could be used as a quick response vehicle, but my guess is that the FD picked it up so they would look cooler than the cops. More pictures after the jump.

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