TAG RESULTS FOR: fatty

Don’t worry, the Viking XL Lift System isn’t only for surprisingly jolly (considering the fact he needs a specially designed rig to hoist him around the house) gingers. Capable of lifting up to 660 lbs., or about half of yo momma (burn!) despite only weighing about 95 lbs. itself. Hey, it beats portion control. As an added bonus, the hoist that wraps around your barely visible taint resembles a diaper designed for an incontinent french maid. Oh, and it also... Continue reading

It would be nice to never have to age into a decrepit sack of sagging flesh, but alas, that is the fate of every one of us. However, it doesn’t have to be. Science is always real reliable when it comes to doing the impossible and what’s more impossible than prolonging death? Scientists recently working with a potential longevity-enhancing drug have had great success while testing it on mice. Having passed its final animal testing challenge, we’re ready to start... Continue reading

I’m always rambling on about a Rock N’ Roll Pizzeria but that doesn’t have shit on a vending machine that will serve you piping-hot fresh pizza. Did I say fresh? OK so that was a total lie but it’s still portable pizza. Unfortunately, the pizza is Tombstone brand which usually tends to fail my personal taste test. And by taste test I mean scarfing down food when I’m drunk. What city could possibly have a deep-dish pizza vending machine? Houston,... Continue reading

Are you an overwhelming fat ass that just can’t shred those pounds because going to the gym is another chore on your list of things you won’t do?  Well, your prayers have been answered! The Vibro Shape slimming belt is said to rid you of your beer-belly in favor of some sexy washboard abs. The belt can also be used on the shoulders, hips, and thighs for a full body workout and a safe auto timer will turn the unit... Continue reading