Here I am, scared out of my wits about anything too extreme for my fragile geeky body, and this poor little guy, measuring a tiny fraction of my size, bungee jumps 24 times a day. I feel ashamed. Very ashamed.
The Jongchul Kim’s Bungee Jumping Clock features a little man who jumps out of his little cubby and bounces around in the air at the top of each hour.
This 20 pound kayak is supposed to be the ultimate in watersports. It’s made of strong, lightweight Kevlar (the stuff they use in bulletproof vests) and carbon fiberglass. As you paddle, you’ll use little to no effort to propel yourself forward thanks to the 54 CX’s radical design. It comes with a radical price as well: $2500.
I don’t trust sheepherders. While I’m sure that many of them live an honorable and hardworking existence, I can’t help but shake the idea that most herding-peoples have some sort of animal-sex fetish. I know, it’s a problem. I’ll be seeking therapy soon. I blame the media. Now, extreme sheepherding on the other hand is a lamb of a different color.
These sheep are decked out in custom designed LED suits which allow for awesome midnight herding. If you ever seek out a video on sheepherding, let this be the one.
Back in July, I briefly mentioned a beer pong raft that ruins the fundamental experience that is the game of beer pong. Well, the creators behind the Port-O-Pong weren’t too pleased about that, so they sent us one. Needless to say, my face lit up when it arrived at my doorstep. The advertisers claim it can be played “anywhere on anything,” so I immediately had to put it to the test. I met up with Vince in Margate, New Jersey and we decided that the ocean would be an ideal locale for our next beer pong match. Let the games begin!
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We’ve seen a skateboard mixed with a surfboard today, but how about a skateboard mixed with BMX? The Dirtsurfer Freestyle is just that: it’s got the speed of a freestyle BMX with the agility of a skateboard. Speed is controlled via a brake which is a simple lever-activated disk brake mounted on the rear wheel. Simply lean backwards and you’ll slow the board down.
Unlike a skateboard, the faster you go, the more stable the Dirtsurfer becomes. Slow down too much and, like a bike, you’ll fall on your side. Going off road on your skateboard just isn’t possible but, with the 16″ tires the Dirtsurfer is sporting, you can transverse almost any terrain. For $450, it’s yours. Though you must be warned, injuries caused while riding it are not covered as part of the price tag. So, ride carefully.
Mountain Dew’s Action Sports Tour is headed our way and Nike really wants to make peoples’ jaws drop. For their campaign, they hired the ad/design firm Hub Strategy who worked on this armor-plated war truck, turning it into a mobile extreme sport HQ. But, what makes this monstrous truck so extreme? It’s not the skateboard ramp on the back or the rails surrounding it. It’s not even the wakeboard water tower. It’s the ass-load of Mountain Dew this thing’s going to have in its camper when it goes on tour around the country.
Nike 6.0 Ill Mobile is its name and being extreme is its game. How extreme? It’s like riding in a parajet car with no helmet while Tony Hawk sitting passenger side throws money in your face. They built this monstrosity in only three weeks. Now, they plan on taking it around the country, frightening little kids and crushing any who can’t best its vert ramp.
When it comes to climbing, backpacks are an important part of your apparel. They carry all of your food, equipment and in some rare instances something beneficially misplaced. That’s where the O2 Bag comes in. The Japanese adventure supply company, Ymup has equipped this ordinary backpack with a battery-powered oxygen generator, making those ascents into thin-air environments all the more breathable.
The company says the battery lasts up to two hours, so your climbers better be on top of their game or else you’ll find yourself choking for air at the summit while your lungs collapse. To help boost morale, members of your climbing party should outfit themselves with a backpack boom box, because good tunes always comes first before health. While you’re at it, you might as well bring some massaging backpacks. It’s a long way to the top.
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Seems acrylic bongs weren’t enough. Now acrylic case mods are all the rage. Of course, this also makes your computer easily modifiable and upgradeable because everything isn’t packed away in some wheel of cheese. Adding and removing cards, memory and storage has never been easier.
The acrylic cases were designed by Digital Cowboy who are calling it the Acrylic Cowboy. Several different styles are available, ranging from the standard orange platform, to the bad ass smoke gray design which places your motherboard at a special 25-degree angle, ensuring without any doubt that you’re one extreme dude. Now, if you put your PC in a black box case mod, you’ll be anything but extreme. They’re available in Japan from $37 to $101, but be warned, these case mods are not water-proof. Take a flight, don’t swim, or you’ll be drinking your own urine for hydration.
I want to know if you’re ready to get EXTREME. That’s right, son. We’re knocking back beers all night and getting coked out of our minds so that when we open this overdue electric bill, it’s intense. But we’re not going to open it with a few chubby fingers and dirty fingernails. No, that would be sacrilegious to an extent.
So forget fingers and let’s take this party to the MAXXX. I have the power of OPENING and the power of CARBON FIBER thanks to Purisme’s latest letter opener. It’s so lightweight, it feels like the sheer power of the alcohol on your breath is slicing deep into the paper. Just don’t go waving it near anyone’s eye or you’re going to end up looking like the Joker.
We take our drinking games real seriously. Whether it be public inebriation or an intense match of Flip Cup, you’ll need gloves to make sure your hands are not only protected but also comfortable for reduced muscle strain. That’s just what the manufacturer of these gloves promise: a glove that will aid performance in a game of flip cup.
When the night is late and you’re staggering home, vomiting after every five steps you take, you’ll be happy you bought these gloves when you fall to your hands and knees in crapulence. At least your friends will have been amazed at the flawless performance of Flip Cup you played earlier that night.
