Gearfuse

…though a cheap circular lawnmower wannabe it is not. For $140,000 you can buy your own functioning hoverboard, otherwise known as the Air Board. It travels at speeds up to 15 mph over most surfaces other than water, which totally blows. A “real” hovercraft would so travel over water.

They seem to be marketing the Air Board as a perfect gift, but if your willing to spend $140,000 on a hoverboard for someone else, you should have your head examined. Just get them a Beamer or something.

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Featuring a ridiculous 9900 black and white diamonds, this Diamond Chess Set goes beyond opulence and skips right to “I’m so rich I use hundreds as toilet paper” and “I eat diamond encrusted cupcakes” money.

The $224,000 price tag actually seems sort of low considering the crazy amount of craftmanship and the thousands of gems installed in the set. 4500 hours of artisanship was poured into this thing. Reasonable is pushing it. More stuff you will never have a chance to own.

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In the spirit of really large and cool shit for the summer, check out this Gigantic Water Play Slide from “ridiculously expensive stuff” extraordinaire Hammacher Schlemmer.

Part 16-foot water slide, part water fort, the Gigantic Water Play Slide includes a bouncy center play gym and a mountain climbing-like stair experience. All for the (super-cheap, OMG) price of (only?!) $9,000. Chump change.

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Vampires need light too. I mean how else would they do their taxes? Read? Cook dinner? These are questions that our vampire community needs readily addressed. My friends, I give you the Liquid Lamp. It looks like a bucket of blood turned upside down, spilled all over your lovely new coffee table. At $200, it’s quite expensive but at least you’ll have an edge come Halloween.

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I understand that living in a major metropolitan city can leave you with a lack of plants, grass and trees but this is still a bit overkill. It’s a keychain called the Green Capsule and it comes with a small vegetable seed inside along with a proprietary soil mix of some sort. In turn, with a little light, your seed will grow into a plant in no time. Once it gets too big, just swap it out of the keychain and replace it with another seed.

I like the idea of a fully sustainable garden in my pocket and I also like free vegetables, so this is a perfect gift idea for me. Unfortunately, at $62, it’s also the most expensive keychain I’ve seen. Maybe I’ll stick to this piece of old gum I twirled into a ring.

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Even those of you who are more compelled to play with handheld gadgets (and bodily appendages) will not be able to take your eyes off of the incredible Spanish miracle which is the Tramontana R-edition. Utilizing aeronautical technology within a brute Formula 1 race car, the R-edition can go from 0-60 mph in about 3.6 seconds, and looks like it could get to the moon in about the same amount of time if one so desired.

Only 12 Tramontana R-edition’s were made, and for the cost of a whopping $500,000, there are probably only about 10 people in the world who can actually afford the damn thing. The best way I can seemingly explain this monster is “an orgasm in car form.” That’s pretty much all that can be said. More sex after the jump. (more…)

If you have $4200 lying around and a lot of free office space, may I suggest immediately purchasing this sweet desk made from an airplane wing. The desk is called Deborah and with curves like these, you’ll be falling in love with her the minute you plunk down half your savings on her. I wonder where they get the airplane wings to make these desks, though…

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Go into your parent’s attic and you’ll find a box. Open it up. Inside are your childhood memories. Snocones, funnel cake – these were the times. Ah, yes. That four-shot series of photographs from the boardwalk photo booth. How grand! Wouldn’t it be great if you could relive those times? Now ya can, champ.

This authentic boardwalk photo booth from Hammacher Schlemmer costs $11,000 but the memories it will produce are priceless. Have an orgy in there and blackmail the other chick on Facebook with the resulting pictures. Hilarious! It only takes 16 seconds to print out a four-frame strip of photos and it come with enough film for 3200 pictures.

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Kate Spade is for chicks and Jack Spade is for us dudes. They make some pretty decent bags and accessories but this one takes the cake. It’s a $55 dice set with four die total. Each side either says “You Buy” or “I Buy”, putting an end to those late-night dinner tab disputes. The next time you and your date go out for lobster bisque, try your luck with the roll of a die. Your wallet might feel a little fatter or lighter depending on the outcome.

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We’ve been looking for some steampunk gear to match our new headphones and cane for a while now. Thanks to WETA’s steampunk raygun, the set is complete and I am now an official member of the Wild Wild West 2 movie crew. It’s called the “The Unnatural Selector – A Ray-Blunderbuss from Dr Grordbort’s,” and does little more than hang on your wall, looking pretty. Of course, you could always dismount it and run a muck wreaking havoc on unsuspecting foes.

Before you get in to any mischief, you’ll have to put a mortgage on your house because this thing goes from $4,500 to $7,900 dollars depending on what edition you settle with. Why so much? Despite all the detail put into this thing, it’ll also have your name engraved on it. Now, that’s cool.

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