Owning a coffee table like this particular model is most likely going to freak out any ladies whom you’ve invited over for dinner.  It’s got women’s undies pinned in between two pieces of glass, clamped together like a chasity belt. Additionally, the clamps also work as the table’s legs. Your friends will think you made it yourself and obtained the garments either during a Sorority panty raid or a collection of leftovers from your ex-girlfriends.

It doesn’t matter how you got the panties; the only thing that matters is that it isn’t a coffee table modeled after a Nintendo controller.  If it was, the panties wouldn’t be in your apartment in the first place.

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I’m sure you and your friends think your ex is a real cunt, but is that any way to talk to a lady? Absolutely not. Alternatively, you could get her this thong. Aside from the fact that a thong just screams class, this one says “YOU ARE VISITOR: 002637″ on the front part. She’ll not only hate you getting it for her, but she’ll also use it to get revenge when your best friend goes to fuck her during your grad party.

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