According to this t-shirt, we are nothing but spear toting nomads, prepared to take our next step into awesome mutation. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t carried around a spear for at least a decade. If this shirt design added one more link between Wolverine and the caveman, I think we’d find it just a tad more accurate.
Apparently the nuclear wars of the future will force are penises to evolve into vestigial appendages resembling a foot. Look, when I prayed to wake up with a foot-long in my pants, this wasn’t quite what I meant, dude.
Sadly, this fore-telling shirt doesn’t say who’s first to drop the bomb. My money’s on the Polish. Well, that’s not entirely true. First, my money’s on this shirt. $14.95 of it to be exact.
Ever heard that song “Rocked By Rape” that’s made up of AC/DC samples and clips of Dan Rather? No? Ok, then go here.
Great. So that’s the Evolution Control Committee. They sure do some neat stuff with them there musical instruments. If you watch the above video, you can see how they use a Wiimote to control their mashups when in concert. The setup uses Ableton Live, infrared technology, a touchscreen and a thimble that keeps loops playing. It looks all too fun to pass up.
Nowadays, digital clocks need to be installed in public schools because the human race is evolving into a new, dumber mammal. I embrace this change, however, I still can read an analog clock. I say we make it even harder for our dumb-founded youth, by installing these 11.5-inch clocks in every public school across the nation. Sure, the twelve and the one hands are simple mathematics, but the seven hand might be too many variables for your average confused by a digital clock student.
So I ran through all of them with my trusty calculator, double checking to make sure they were right, only to be left in dismay over the fact that a few of the answers aren’t whole numbers. What the hell is 9.0047 o’ clock? Either way, it’s a thought-provoking design with an incalculable price tag.
Not much is known about the early evolution of our fishy ancestors and their quest to coming above water, leading to dinosaurs, and eventually us humans. Scientists believe they have come a step closer to understand how our fishy relatives might have “crawled” ashore, with the help of a salamander-like robot.
The 33-inch-long robot was chosen to resemble a salamander, since they were most likely what most resembled the first land dwelling vertebrates. Until now, researchers had puzzled over how creatures which used body movements underwater could have formed usable locomotive limbs for a land walk. This robot has given them an idea of what could have happened. — Andrew Dobrow
