Gearfuse

Scarface would have been all over this Cocaine Scale, which makes the device resemble an iPhone. Take off the mobile-esque case and poof, snort away into your own magical world of speed. A scale is essential for dealers who like to measure their sale out to the exact milligram.

While in its case, the scale looks like your average iPhone, just about the same size, with all of the apps and even a home button. But would a cop know the difference? That’s a paraphernalia charge right there.

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Though only a silhouette exists, my detective work tells me that someone going under the alias of “Toad” is dealing shrooms. Lots of shrooms. At $20 an eighth, these are going fast and I’m worried Mario might be caught up in the mix. Rehab? We’ve considered it. But then we wouldn’t feel so big and powerful anymore and that’s just not an option right now with Princess Peach all locked up and what not.

The best part about all this shroomery is that this design is on a t-shirt designed by one Ian Summers. At $18, it’s cheaper than drugs! Hit the jump for a shot of the actual tee.
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So, here’s the deal. Some dude bought two used copies of Grand Theft Auto games for his 12-year-old son and was surprised to find a few ecstasy pills wrapped in cling wrap, hidden in the video game’s manual. Instead of quietly thanking the gaming gods and grabbing the nearest bottle of water, the father decided to cause a little scuff, claiming that his kids, whom apparently play XBox constantly, could have died if they had taken the mysterious pills.

Dude, if your 12-year-old son is still swallowing random things he finds wrapped in suspicious looking cling wrap, it’s safe to say he shouldn’t be playing Grand Theft Auto in the first place. Not to mention the little gaming addict is wearing an AIG shirt. I mean, really? Teach your son some values.

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After reading the description of this maze, I’m still not sure I entirely understand it:

Have puzzles gone passé? With the advent and subsequent mainstreaming of videogames caused physical toys to go by the wayside? What do you get when you multiply six by nine? The answer to the first two questions is “No,” and the last, “42.”

What? I’m pretty sure that whoever created this puzzle was on drugs and had it in for other people on drugs. They might as well call this the “drugs puzzle” because the only way you’re solving it is on a boatload of, well, drugs. Glad we have an understanding.

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It would be nice to never have to age into a decrepit sack of sagging flesh, but alas, that is the fate of every one of us. However, it doesn’t have to be. Science is always real reliable when it comes to doing the impossible and what’s more impossible than prolonging death? Scientists recently working with a potential longevity-enhancing drug have had great success while testing it on mice. Having passed its final animal testing challenge, we’re ready to start testing this on humans, Tuck Everlasting-style!

The mice whom had been given the new drug dieted on fatty foods for four months without gaining weight or developing diabetes. They also ran twice as far on a treadmill as their drug-free brethren. Talk about progress. Those mice might live long healthy lives, but there isn’t anything preventing them from getting caught in a Victor.

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For a long time, scientists have suspected that humans have an ancient history of drug use. Without any proof, such speculations become nothing more than the rantings of a scientist doped out on hallucinogens. Now, valid proof that humans from the Stone Age dabbled in the arts of “getting fucked up” have appeared on the Caribbean island of Carriacou.

Quetta Kaye of UCL and Scott Fitzpatrick, an archeologist from North Carolina State University, have discovered equipment used to prepare hallucinogenic drugs for sniffing. Additionally, the ceramic bowls they found date back to prehistoric South American tribes, which proves that humans have been taking drugs for longer than one might believe. Listen, just because one wipes their ass with a leaf doesn’t mean they’re less likely to do drugs. Who said druggies have to be civilized?

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Good idea: buying a PS2 to play some sick games.

Bad idea: buying a PS2 to gut it and smuggle drugs into your country.

That’s just what these three men, two Canadians and a New Zealander, are accused of. Well, not so much accused but more like getting caught red handed. Australian customs detected the parcel containing the drugs at Sydney’s international mail facility on October 5. They found 3,400 ecstasy pills hidden inside the PS2 that was en route to an address connected to the three men. They’re now facing life imprisonment and/or a $825,000 fine. Drugs don’t pay, kids.

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Either I’m on some awesome drugs that I don’t know about or the Russian artists who designed this oversized iPod are. OK, I just gave myself a blood test; I’m sober. That means that both Aristarkh Chernyshev and Alexei Shulgin are out of their skulls for crafting this large, warped, fully-functional iPod.

It looks like they put a giant iPod in a brick oven then, once it was well done, connected some 500 XL speakers to it. I can’t imagine the purpose of this thing besides a conversation piece while you shout over the loud music coming through it. That is, if you can get around the tiring effort you’d have to put forth while simply looking for a song. Count me out.

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Slick marketing is an evil and effective way to get things done your way. Take for instance the Pixos Super Studio I found on Random Good Stuff. At first, it looks like a cool kids toy that uses water and beads to paint “pixelated” pictures that can turn into toys. The product description states:

Just add water, and watch in amazement as the PixOs beads magically fuse together to create a work of art. When you’re done with your creation, finish it off by using the studio’s built-in dryer. Studio comes with 500 PixOs, two design trays, five double-sided templates, two instruction booklets, spray bottle, super studio unit with built-in storage, dryer and pen dispenser. Refills sold separately.

Then I noticed it looked oddly familiar. Where had I seen this before? Oh yes, that’s right. The previously recalled Aqua Dots! Remember? The little beads that you draw with were coated with date rape drug GHB, enabling kids to slowly die and teenagers to slowly trip out. Don’t believe me? Hit the jump for the proof.
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With all this talk of doping and illegal performance enhancing drugs in sports, isn’t it about time someone took a look at drug-use in professional gaming?

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