Gearfuse

Remember that show The Incredible Crash Test Dummies? It makes you wonder: what’s so incredible about crash test dummies, anyway? It’s probably because they come in all different shapes and sizes. Short ones, fat ones, little ones and even tall ones plant their ass in a driver seat and brace for impact.

Oobject must be fans of the 1993 Dummies cartoon show, because it’s posted a collection of crash test dummies used in a variety of different situations. Bet you didn’t know that a motorcycle-riding crash test dummy is made up differently than that of a pedestrian crash test dummy just waiting to be run over at a crosswalk.

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Can you think of anything worse than crashing your car at 100 MPH?

I can. How about crashing your rare Tesla Roaster?

A Tesla dealer and a potential customer were apparently doing 100 MPH during a test drive when they hit….something. The end result is what you see and as horrible as it looks, both men survived the crash. They’re quite lucky, considering the customer was thrown from the car.

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Thanks to Nissan’s Biomimetic Robot Car (BR23C), crash test dummies could find themselves out of a job. Having been compared to R2-D2 (but bearing no resemblance whatsoever), the BR23C will not maintain your car like a mechanic would, rather, it will play the part of backseat driver. The robot is the “poster-bot” for Nissan’s new crash prevention technology.

Drawing upon inspiration from bees in nature, the BR23C uses a laser range finder sensor to detect obstacles within a 180-degree radius and forwards that information to itself giving it plenty of time to prevent head-on collisions. Nissan was thinking that the best way to prevent crashes is to avoid obstacles altogether. Brilliant. Check out the video to see the robot avoid women.

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Oobject has posted 10 videos of ejection seat tests that show the safety measures involved in testing a fighter jet ejection seat in action.  If you thought crash testing cars was extreme, check out some of these videos of pilots risking their lives in the name of safety testing. No crash test dummies here, folks. Only live flesh and bone are propelled in these videos.

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With all these awesome electric motorcycles sprouting up everywhere, you’re gonna need a sweet looking helmet to go with your new bike. French designer Jérôme Coste has shown interest in crash helmet design since surviving his sixth cranial fracture. Jesus, you’d think you’d quit around three or four cranial fractures, but no, Coste just keeps on biking.

Made from carbon fiber and detailed with chrome-plated trim, these helmets are directly inspired by science-fiction films and as a result, if you fall from a flying car, you’ll be thankful you had one of these stylish cranial casings on your head. Otherwise you’re getting fucked up.

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For those not familiar with the term “salaryman,” it’s the Japanese term for male office workers who bend over backwards for their job and work overtime on a daily basis. After this, they crawl their way home on all fours, bickering about how much they hate their own lives. Artist Momoyo Torimitsu, in an effort to address the issue of recent economic crashes in various countries, has created a crawling robot resembling a salaryman.

The video shoes the robot crawling through Sydney, Australia in an effortless attempt to bite ankles. Torimitsu follows it, dressed as a nurse while maintaining its insides by way of an ass-panel opening. She says, “Crawling is the soldier’s motion in the battlefield. I would say this is the business soldier.” So, that’s why she follows it around dressed as a nurse. Now I get it, but it’s still awkward.

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Sighted at the Microsoft Conference Center is this Microsoft branded soda. We just have one question. Of all the colors they could have chosen, why blue? Similar to their “oh so annoying” BSODs. Why set yourself up for such embarrassment? Don’t think that you’re going to be seeing this in stores either. Seems to be a Microsoft office based operation. And no offense to them, but I sure as hell don’t want to risk my body having a Microsoft aided crash after ingesting this. — Andrew Dobrow

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Forget cellphones, all the screens going into cars nowadays are causing all of the crashes. It’s not that the driver of the car is driving wrecklessly, it’s the driver of the car behind the car with the movie playing. Really people, watching movies while driving is not safe!

Now we have the Visor. It is a flip-down visor has a TV/DVD player with an FM transmitter in order to keep your passengers entertained and out of your hair. So however unsafe this device is (and however illegal), if you can afford it, you’ll probably be rushing out to your local hi-tech car shop to rip this off of the shelves. $300 is all it’ll cost you. Is that really worth the peace and quiet while driving? –Nik Gomez

Car 7-inch Sun Visor TV/DVD Player and FM Transmitter [via The Gadget Blog]