Kirk And Spock Bust Your Nuts

Hailing frequencies are open for these two nutcrackers modeled after Star Trek’s Kirk and Spock. If you haven’t already picked up that ball-busting Hillary Clinton nutcracker, than that means you’re still in the market for a utensil to crack your favorite nuts. Although back ordered at the moment, these two nut busters will be available before Christmas for $34.95. Perfect gift for the Star Trek nut in your family.

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BMW ZX-6 Concept “Car”

I can only imagine how great crack cocaine must be. Seriously, it’s gotta be one hell of a drug. I know this much because the design team at BMW has obviously been smoking a shitload of it. Well, actually, it wasn’t BMW that designed the ZX-6 Concept, it was created by students at Turin-based IED design studio. Certainly not the geniuses that created Gina.

The students claim they drew inspiration from elements, music, and arts. I think they just smoked way too much crack cocaine. Look at this fucking thing. How am I going to drive it over a speed bump? Considering the fucking vehicle doesn’t even have wheels, I’m going to have to pass on the test drive. What a piece of shit. These students clearly ride the short bus to attend the prestigious Crack Cocaine University. Have any crack?

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Brooklyn Bodega Stocks Crack Pipe Pens

During the course of their neverending quest to get high, crackheads are often forced to play amateur scientists. They mix chemicals, experiment on their bodies, and make stoves out of common household products. Perhaps the most well-known piece of crack addict lab equipment is the glass pipe. Recently, I noticed a new twist on this infamous piece of drug paraphernalia at a Brooklyn bodega: ”glass ball pens” that are obviously just an excuse to sell pyrex tubes.

Lately law enforcement has been going after places that stock the glass-enclosed cloth roses that crackheads have traditionally used to smoke rock. These innovative new pens are designed to foil the pesky crack pipe bans. I doubt they write at all. Crackheads must be snatching up the pens fast, because when I stopped by today to take a picture of them with a real camera the guy behind the cash register told me they were all sold out.

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Stink Tree Table Is Broken

Filed under: Design, Household

Five pieces of wood stuck together yet divided by a fissure and you call it the “stink tree?” This outlandish hippie coffee table was designed by Dylan Gold who says, “Don’t spill your drink.” My response? Don’t construct a table with a fucking crack in it. It would be like a chalkboard with a gap in the center which can’t be written on.

In other words, it’s useless. Unless of course you’re so in love with trees that you would buy a coffee table with a tree-shaped hole right in the center. The ’60s are over, alright? Jerry died and it’s time for your bath.
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Windows Vista media DRM protection cracked, what’s next?

Filed under: Hacks, Software

windows vista ultimateWith the recent crackings of the security measures set forth in HD-DVD and Blu-ray, it is only fitting that the DRM in the upcoming release of Windows Vista is hacked. Alex Ionesu, the man who claims to have bypasses the security, has only released very vague information due to the possibility of legal actions by Microsoft. Currently, this is just a proof-of-concept, but so what? It is fairly disappointing (yet somewhat expected) that Microsoft’s so called higher security safety implemented in Vista has been fooled before it has even been launched to the public. So what part has he defeated? Ionescu has put to rest the Protected Media Path that is supposed to stop Vista from playing DRMed audio and video files. Tricky, tricky. Microsoft should be sweating bullets. — Nik Gomez

Vista DRM Cracked [Electronista]

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