Anyone who has ever played Cooking Mama knows what a sweet heart the protagonist, Mama, is. PETA, on the other hand, has a different take on Majesco’s cooking franchise for the Nintendo Wii and DS. To PETA, Mama is an evil witch hellbent on killing innocent turkeys for this upcoming Thanksgiving.

In this Flash game, you’ll go through each preparation of the turkey, from plucking its feathers to stuffing it. At the end of each level you’ll be rewarded with a PETA fact that’ll have you feeling bad about cooking turkey. That, or it will just make you want to cook more turkeys. The game is twisted, but very well done. It’s up there with Super Obama World.

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Instructables never ceases to amaze me. This time around, we have some absolutely delicious LEGO gummies. User SFHandyman discuses how to use a silicone mold to form the candy and goes through the process of using Jello to create the actual candy. The only thing that could make these treats better would be if you could actually build with them. One can dream…

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The team at MAKE dug up a really cool video of Raphael and Max cooking objects with a Jacobs Ladder. Don’t know what a Jacobs Ladder is? Wikipedia has a fine and dandy explanation of it. Watch as these two clowns put a grape in between the current and let it cook. While I prefer to grill my food, this does look insanely fun.

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I’ve got a bone to pick with you fuckers at Fingertongs. Why aren’t you running a more aggressive advertising campaign? I could have really used a pair during the Summer of 2006 when I burnt my left hand grabbing a hamburger off the grill. Sure, I was seven beers deep but how is that my fault? I needed your gloves that can take up to 500°F and reduce splatter. Oooh! That’s right! I spent all my money on beer, so can you hook it up? No? But I don’t have the $18 you require for this “purchase” you speak of. Fuck it. I’m just going to go grab a hot dog off the grill.

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As a pizza lover and eater, I’m always looking for a way to cut a slice from an uncut pie without fucking it all up. Usually, I take a steak knife and end up cutting half the cheese off while destroying the inner-section of the pie. If I had the Pizza Pro, this never would have happened.

If you’re wondering what the Pizza Pro is, I’d be glad to fill you in. It’s a spatula-type instrument with a gigantic pair of scissors attached to the side. The best feature is that you can you do all of this insane pizza serving with one hand. Remember, winners don’t use drugs and italians don’t cook without a Pizza Pro. Something like that.

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Now this isn’t your typical backpack, so don’t go filling up that trendy pontoon bag with charcoal and lighting it on fire. Lazzari has gotten it right with its new Baja BBQ Backpack. It’s a container made up of 100% recycled paper pulp and contains two pounds of charcoal.

In short, you grab your grill, throw the BBQ Backpack in there, light it on fire and in 20 minutes, you have a nice set of glowing coals to cook your meats and treats on. No price is available, but you should see these popping up in gourmet grocery stores (Whole Foods, Wegmans, Trader Joes) in the near future.

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Those clumsy scales your drug dealer uses to measure out your share of the cocaine is not as easy to use as it appears. It’s years of drug dealing experience that have led to his expert use. If you feel the need to get your local drug dealer something they will actually use, and not snort away, but can’t afford a plush-covered Porsche this Spoon with a Built-In Scale is a little something sweet.

No guarantees on whether purchasing this item for them will spare you the trouble of having a few fingers cut off in return of your debt, but he might just let you keep your balls if the scale spoon, which measures accurately within 1?10 gram, happens to be on the back of his mind as he slices. — Andrew Dobrow

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The “Guardian of The Feast” seen above is a dragon-shaped grill and smoker combination designed by Ed McBride. Not only is it a fantastic piece of artwork by a skilled sculptor, it also looks like a great place to cook up some pigs. Just be prepared to pay far out the ass for it. Sold for $65,000 (other units are available). — Sean Fallon

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