If I had a dollar for each time one of my friends lost their cellphone in a drunken stupor, I’d be able to quit blogging and retire in Cabo. Lucky for my compadres, there’s a new device that will back up your mobile phone contacts with the touch of a button. Backup Pal hooks up to your cellphone via USB and downloads everything just by hitting the button. Much easier than starting a Facebook group called “LOST MY PHONE! NEED UR NUMBERZ!!!”

At $50, it’s certainly worth the cash if you’ve lost your cellphone more than once in the past two years.

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A new technology has emerged that’s bound to change the way we view trashy women forever. Designed for only the most aristocratic tramps around, the Swarovski contact lens is the most absurd invention of the 21st Century. Imagine a pair of contact lenses with tacky Swarovski crystals embedded in them. Seems like an invention right out of Long Island, right?

Wrong! These were actually designed by a woman in India and have been christened with the name of “Sparkle.”

And to think this shit won second place in some contest. What took first place? The Swarovski-studded lower-back tattoo?

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