How is a guy honestly supposed to know that what he’s got packin’ beneath his loin cloth will fit in a Trojan Magnum? There’s no size declared on the box. These companies leave you to trial-and-error until you find the perfect fit. Well that isn’t the case anymore.  Scientists from Condom Consultancy in Germany have invented a revolutionary spray on condom that pumps liquid latex onto your cock and then dries within 20-25 seconds to become a condom.

They hope to cut the solidifying time down by 10 seconds because after 20-25 seconds of you staring down at your own penis, waiting for the condom to form, you’re bound to lose your edge.  See what even the faintest of distractions can do to a man, even in the heat of passion?
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Apparently, the iPhone is still fodder for shitty jokes and tasteless products.

Case in point: the iCondom. With a box strikingly similar to Apple’s flagship telecommunications device, it’s no humongous 3G iPhone but it’s packed with goodies that are meant to be touched. iMemory, iLight, iTree and iFood are all part of the iCondom package. Allow me to inform you a bit about the iMemory:

This condom is made of latex of the special formula which possesses effect of memory. It is enough to you to put on a condom right at the beginning of the coitus on standing penis and after that you can forget about possible weakening of erection during the coitus.

Do you hear that? That’s right, it’s awkward silence. Awkward silence because the iTree helps your girlfriend take it up the butt. Luckily iCondom is pre-order only for now. God knows what would happen if these showed up in Apple stores across the country.

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