Gearfuse

Don’t like thinking about how many times your dad’s hairy balls have thrust up against the coffee table as your mom reached climax? Sorry for the image, but that’s the price you have to pay. No toll-free roads here.

This Interactive Ripple Table features 480 super-bright white LEDs and 24 active and passive near-infrared optical sensors that react to both any movement, including your dad’s balls. The lights create a beautiful ripple effect, only adding to the effect of your mom’s ecstasy. Available in three lengths: 22-inches ($1500), 40- inches ($1800) or 58- inches ($2100).

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I have a confession. A few years ago we sort of lied to you by saying that the old NES Coffee Table was actually a coffee table. In actuality, it was more like a NES Controller trunk, not a proper table at all. Luckily, if you’re really, really into geeky household shit, there is currently a real NES Controller coffee table available on eBay.

There’s already 4 bids less than a day in, so you best get a move on if you want to grab this thing for less than a fortune.

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Some say that I have a thing for glowing, ambient lights. Very true. Hence why I’m kind of going ga-ga over LumiGram’s LumiTable. It’s a 63″ x 13″ and costs $195 but boy will it pay off when you throw a party. It’s made of LumiGram’s proprietary fiber optic material called Luminex (boy, such originality with product names!). The LumiTable really looks like it belongs in The Matrix, with that suave green top. I’d buy one if I actually cleaned my apartment.

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