Gearfuse

Sometimes, when I’m hanging out with Mel Gibson, we like to play Niptwist. What’s Niptwist, you ask? It’s a game when I take an adjustable wrench and then clamp down on Mel’s nipples. He screams in delight and then begs for more. After about 45 minutes of this, Gibson passes out and mumbles some anti-semetic rant.

Little does Mel know that tomorrow I’m going to have an advantage in our game of Niptwist. I plunked down $27 for the Black and Decker Auto Wrench. What does $27 get you? Try an automatic adjustable wrench with 220 ft-pounds of torque. That’s enough to turn William Wallace’s balls/nips/dick more purple than Barney. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, bitches.

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I enjoy biking as much as any young guy does but I have to admit, I don’t like to multitask whilst riding around my block. After all, using a phone on a bike is just begging for it to get broken or crushed unless it’s a specially designed device. This Bike Mount for the iPhone renews these fears of breaking an expensive cellphone.

Only thing is, the iPhone has some fantastic applications and Google Maps immediately comes to mind. This Bike Mount will hold your iPhone or iPod carefully in place until you reach your destination and for only $15 to boot. Just make sure you don’t get hit by a crazy bitch driving an ATV or your phone is toast.

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