Here you go. Delicious milk chocolate. Go ahead, take a bite.
HA! I got you good! Quit crying about your broken tooth, pussy. Had you not been such a fat slob for chocolate, you would have taken three seconds to confirm that this is the 4 port USB hub you were trying to borrow. Now you’ve gone and bit it, breaking it into several pieces. Fucking wankers.
Apparently someone out there is a bigger asshole than I am. They came up with a chocolate company called Fat Pig Chocolates. Each chocolate has some nasty message printed on the wrapper in addition to a picture of a pig snout. Open it up and both the foil and chocolate have the word “Oink!” etched into the surface.
Now, aside from the harsh wording that comes on this pink packaging, there’s also a deeper meaning. Between the blatant “Oink!” on the chocolate, pig mascot and pink packaging, I think it’s safe to assume that this is a cocoa-smuggling ring developed by now-defunct OiNK’s Pink Palace. Hey, those legal fees aren’t going to pay themselves!
This basic iPhone case is the shit and I’ll explain to you why: You see, it’s modeled after a chocolate bar. And while it’s not real, delicious chocolate, it’s certainly the precursor to a prank that will be played on you constantly.
By purchasing this $30 case, you’re basically begging your friends to offer you a piece of chocolate when you’re piss drunk. You’ll accept the offer and will bite down into the cold metal of the iPhone. You will be disappointed, your iPhone will have teeth marks in it and Willy Wonka will still be a honky-ass bitch.
Of course, the real joke is that your iPhone will be worth ~$100 or less come end of July.
Hershey chocoholics might want to steer clear of this concept device, as it might make them crave the lusciousness of sweet milk chocolate even more. Each piece of this portable HDD is a modular flash drive, which allows users to chunk their info together to produce one large mega-drive.
The central display is a touchscreen that helps you manage your files and keep tabs on which flash drive is what. If it wasn’t sure to be so expensive, I might even consider eating this device with a tall glass of milk. — Andrew Dobrow
LG is starting to go overboard with their Chocolate line of cellphones. It’s getting to the point where comparisons to the constant flux of Motorola RAZR and KRZR phones need to be drawn. This time, the LG Strawberry Chocolate has been released. Nothing has changed other than the case color and the price. It might be suprising at first to hear that it only costs $100 after a rebate and two-year contract, but then again, look at it. I think a more appropriate name would be the Bubblegum or the CottonCandy, and to make it hip, let’s call it the CotonCandi. –Nik Gomez
Verizon adds LG Strawberry Chocolate [via Electronista]
First thing that comes to mind when first glancing at the amazing LG KE850? iRiver S10. Not because of size or functionality, but because of the beautiful design that the two devices share. Both have only a screen (save for buttons on the sides), both have a glassed-over black smoothness, and both attract fingerprints like the backside of your iPod. The slim LG KE850 is a cellphone, not an audio player, and it has a touchscreen. The thinness of this device is accomplished because of the touchscreen and the fact that it doesn’t need to have a slide out panel. While there is still an absence of intensive specs for the KE850, we do know that the screen has a maximum resolution of 240 x 400 and it will support some kinds of media and hopefully Office. The pictures also reveal a digital camera on the backside of the devise, but no details on that for now. Speculatively, what device did LG release earlier this year that looks like this? The Chocolate. Can anybody say product line extension?
