Your child is the product of two wonderful parents, so why not buy him or her the best toys available? For a paltry $104, you too can have your kid driving around in a toy BMW that has real rubber tires. No fake, plastic Power Wheels bullshit here, folks. This is the real deal, straight outta Munich. Just make sure you don’t let your kid drive it in the street as it doesn’t have airbags or seatbelts.
You’re running out of time to come up with an original costume idea for Halloween. Luckily,
Kevin at the Craineum’s blog is making a Megaman costume for his son and he’s letting everyone know how it’s done. He’s written up detailed instructions on making your own, for your own kid.
Don’t got a kid? You’re not squeezing your ass into this thing, but maybe with some tailoring skills and a few adjustments you can make one that’s your size. Check out that megabuster arm cannon, it lights up!
Not every kid can swim like Michael Phelps, though every kid ought to. Parents, we understand. Sometimes you just don’t feel like sitting around watching the kids splash the water from the safety of dry land. After all, if they aren’t winning Olympic gold, what’s the point? That’s exactly why you bought the Safety Turtle Wireless Pool Security System for $167, effectively putting a price tag on your child’s life. Now you don’t have to worry about your kids drowning in a pool just because you were too busy doing the latest New York Times crossword puzzle.
It’s easy to use, too. Just plug the base station in and it will work in all directions up to 200 feet away. If the turtle sensor is submerged, the base station let’s out a wail that painfully reminds you of what a negligent parent you are. The creators of the Safety Turtle are not liable for any loss of life due to your lack of practice with CPR.
Remember that ridiculously stupid beer pong video Vince posted regarding the Nintendo Wii? Just when you thought your Wii might have a practical use, in comes the Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal to stereotype Wii users as minors. Originally, the ESRB had given Beer Pong a T for teen rating, regardless of blatant alcohol references, making Bluementhal upset.
With all the controversy over a “drinking” game going to a system whose target demographic is children and childish fanboys, the developers of the game have changed the name of it to Pong Toss. Eliminating the alcohol reference has earned the game an E for everyone rating, which perfectly suits the old people and little kids playing on the Wii.
Nothing is sweeter than a good, solid bike ride. Sometimes, it can be fun to bring your child on a bike ride around town or to the local market. However, most people choose to ride with their kid attached to the back of the bike. The Zigo puts your child in the front, directly in harm’s way. Did that teenager in the ‘97 Honda Civic just pull in front of you? Why risk damaging a $600 bike? Go for the gold. Or if you can’t take a joke and would prefer having your child bundled up safely, buy a Volvo.
It looks like shit anyways.
