The Olympics are in full swing and even though those commie bastards from China cut our national anthem short during Phelps’ award ceremony, we still know the USA rules. Apparently, some of the people in China really do have small dicks, because according to a report from The Beijing Times, people watching the opening ceremony from home were treated to a 55-second CGI graphics sequence. Thought those fireworks were real? Not even close.

Speaking to The Beijing Times, an advisor to the Beijing Olympic Committee (BOCOG) defended the decision: “It would have been prohibitive to have tried to film it live,” he said.
“We could not put the helicopter pilot at risk by making him try to follow the firework route.”

So when you see Michael Phelps being eaten by a mutant dinosaur and Chinese gymnasts flying 100-feet above the stadium, remember to keep the computer trickery in mind.
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A Japanese wedding planning company has teamed up with space transportation provider Rocketplane Kistler Japan. Using half-airplane, half-space shuttle transportation, they plan on hosting weddings aboard a one hour space flight that reach altitudes above 62 miles.

They’re charging a little over two million dollars for such an affair but are kind enough to include a photo and video album, original dress, wedding certificate, transportation to and from the launch site, a live broadcast of the ceremony to friends and family at a reception hall on the ground (talk about impersonal), four days of rehearsal as well as other ceremonial items and accommodations.  These services are supposed to be available sometime in 2011 and the company will already begin taking applications next month.

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