Take a look at the image above. Is it a photograph or is it a painting?
It’s actually an oil painting influenced by the aesthetic of black and white photography created by Adam Stennett. I’ve got no idea how he makes these images look so life-like, especially the water running down this lady’s crack. Hubba hubba. All I know is: I like.
Owning a coffee table like this particular model is most likely going to freak out any ladies whom you’ve invited over for dinner. It’s got women’s undies pinned in between two pieces of glass, clamped together like a chasity belt. Additionally, the clamps also work as the table’s legs. Your friends will think you made it yourself and obtained the garments either during a Sorority panty raid or a collection of leftovers from your ex-girlfriends.
It doesn’t matter how you got the panties; the only thing that matters is that it isn’t a coffee table modeled after a Nintendo controller. If it was, the panties wouldn’t be in your apartment in the first place.
I’m all for the bidet sometimes but nothing beats a good ol’ wipe of the ass with toilet paper. Plus, you can check and ensure you wiped properly and completely. With Kohler’s C3 toilet seat, you need not worry about running out of TP anymore. The seat includes a remote-controlled bidet that allows you to clean your ass out without having to move in the slightest. You’d expect a NASA-esque price to accompany such a stunning piece of technology. Luckily, the C3 will only set you back $950.
A recently revealed patent shows an idea for a very, hmm, how to say this politely… a very “interesting” and “unique” device. The patent describes a product titled “User-Operated Amusement Apparatus for Kicking the User’s Buttocks.” Notice the word, “amusement”.
You operate the device by pushing a row apparatus that resembles the operation of a coal mining cart, while a windmill style set of feet repeatedly kicks your ass. What the fuck? — Andrew Dobrow
