Gearfuse

For $147.72, audiophiles have another excuse to spend an exuberant amount of money on a “cryogenically-treated, gold-plated” doodad. And the vendor is 100% serious about their “audio grade” label, even going as far as trademarking the term.

But hey, it’s sooo worth it for the perfect sonic experience. Or so the product commenters will have you believe. Apparently “behind acoustic treatment, AC power is the second most under-invested aspect of home theater.” Well, I’ll be. You people will spend money on anything won’t you?

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Man, today is all about the rumors floating around and I’m not liking it one bit. Know why? Rumors are all hype, little fact and always disappointing. Take for instance the latest one. The Internet is saying that Amazon is preparing a new Kindle with a large screen for newspapers that will drop this Wednesday. Pretty bold, right? Yeah, it’s bold alright. Bold that you fuckers writing this shit don’t have any solid sources to back it up. Sure, the New York Times is running with it, but the New York Times is nothing more than a bankrupt piece-of-Red-Sox-owning-shit.

And so we’ll see this week if Amazon is bringing another device to the market so soon. My guess? No way. At least not this week or month.

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You like that? Two Microsoft products in one title. Boo yah!

Here are some new pictures that are supposedly of the ZuneHD. While they are plausible, the quality is such shit that I can’t help but think they’ve been Photoshopped. Here’s the “rumored details” or whatever bullshit you want say will come with this unconfirmed device:

The ZuneHD will have a capacitive, multi-touch OLED screen with a 16:9 aspect ratio and TV out, from what looks to be a HDMI port on the side. The radio will now be HD and the device will support HD media playback, which will be available from the updated Zune Marketplace.

The ZuneHD will also support 3D Xbox games, but it is unclear what form this will take.

The device will come in 16 and 32 GB versions, and will support wireless sync. It will also finally come with a browser that supports multi-touch.

Mmmhmm. Right. “3D Xbox games” sounds dead on. Will it come with a built-in tequila dispenser too? Hey, when a product isn’t real, you might as well make up any goddamned thing you please.

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Oh, Microsoft. You love to just fuck things up royally, don’t you? You almost have a certain knack for it it seems. This time around, Microsoft is now declaring that it will no longer pay for shipping on broken Xbox 360 units. Says Consumerist reader Zach:

“My Xbox red-ringed for the second time this weekend. Which is almost a relief after hearing how bad my disc drive was sounding, but not so much after hearing the new policy. I was told that Xbox no longer ships out a box to you and you must find a box to ship it out in. Yeah I guess its not a big deal, but I think it gives them another thing to hold over your head; “We are sorry, Sir, but you didn’t back it well enough and it appears the damage was due to shipping, we cannot help you.”

See? Fucking the customer squarely in the ass once again. Get a goddamned clue, will you already, Microsoft? I’m so sick of writing about how you constantly subject the public to pain and terrible excuses. It’ll come back to haunt you fuckers one day, I’m sure of it.

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Of course not. Someone took a picture of an iPhone, photoshopped the back to give it a matte-look and looked up the FCC-related shit on their website. Come on now. No need to lie. I’m giving whoever did this 12 hours to leave a comment fessing up to the crime and then there’s no turning back.

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So after yesterday’s asstabulous keynote from Apple, iWork ‘09 hit the web faster than you can say “Hack the Planet!” If you’d like to score a copy of the office productivity suite for yourself, simply fire up your favorite Bit Torrent client and grab the torrent off, oh let’s see, pretty much any torrent site on the ‘net and you’re good to go. Unless you plan on buying a new 17-inch Macbook Pro, this is as good as Macworld gets.

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Every year, around the end of November up until CES in January, PR flacks email me and other writers constantly, begging for them to stop by their booth at CES so they can show off some shitty product. There are exceptions of course and there are a few good PR people left thank goodness, but let me show you what I mean. The above image? That’s a screencap of what I woke up to this morning. Six emails in a row from one Les Goldberg from D-Link. Yes, the same D-Link that makes your shitty dorm room router.

This isn’t PR. This is a spam. You spammed me, douchebag, and now we’re going to spam you. Everyone, spammers included, may I present you with Les’ email address: les.goldberg@dlink.com. Got it? One more time: les.goldberg@dlink.com.

Email Les and tell him we don’t appreciate his spam nor his shitty company’s spam. The last time D-Link made a usable product? Never.

The nerve of some people! Alex Payne, the lead API developer at Twitter, is claiming that the Internet is broken. He is then kind enough to point out its flaws and what he feels will happen because of the so-called “broken Internet.”

I’ve got some words of advice for Alex: Fix your fucking APIs and your fucking service before you start complaining about the one thing that makes your company (Twitter) a reality. If I had a dollar every time Twitter was down, I’d probably buy you out.

This is why I don’t use Twitter. It’s a fad and it’s essentially, a service for losers and nerds who don’t have enough friends in real-life to text message. Seriously. Try texting your friends. Same shit as Twitter. Maybe we’ll see Payne wake up and smell the rotting whale carcass.

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Of course not, so don’t you dare get your hopes up. This is just the tongue of analysts who say that Apple has the ability and price room to lower the almighty Jesus-phone down to a paltry $99. Analysts are saying that a – wait for it – $99 iPhone would crush the competition and solidify Apple’s place as a major mobile phone manufacturer.

Duh. Thanks, Captain Obvious.

Will Apple ever lower it to $99? Nope. Not a chance. Years ago, I totally called it that Blu-ray would prevail over HD DVD. Look who’s laughing now.

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The Internet can be hazardous to your health. Such is the case when some random prankster decided to fabricate a lie that said Apple CEO Steve Jobs suffered a heart attack. Shortly after, Apple’s mouthpiece stated that the rumors just simply weren’t true. Why do people make this shit up? I can think of nothing less funny than a heart attack.

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