The nerve of some people! Alex Payne, the lead API developer at Twitter, is claiming that the Internet is broken. He is then kind enough to point out its flaws and what he feels will happen because of the so-called “broken Internet.”

I’ve got some words of advice for Alex: Fix your fucking APIs and your fucking service before you start complaining about the one thing that makes your company (Twitter) a reality. If I had a dollar every time Twitter was down, I’d probably buy you out.

This is why I don’t use Twitter. It’s a fad and it’s essentially, a service for losers and nerds who don’t have enough friends in real-life to text message. Seriously. Try texting your friends. Same shit as Twitter. Maybe we’ll see Payne wake up and smell the rotting whale carcass.

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Of course not, so don’t you dare get your hopes up. This is just the tongue of analysts who say that Apple has the ability and price room to lower the almighty Jesus-phone down to a paltry $99. Analysts are saying that a - wait for it - $99 iPhone would crush the competition and solidify Apple’s place as a major mobile phone manufacturer.

Duh. Thanks, Captain Obvious.

Will Apple ever lower it to $99? Nope. Not a chance. Years ago, I totally called it that Blu-ray would prevail over HD DVD. Look who’s laughing now.

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The Internet can be hazardous to your health. Such is the case when some random prankster decided to fabricate a lie that said Apple CEO Steve Jobs suffered a heart attack. Shortly after, Apple’s mouthpiece stated that the rumors just simply weren’t true. Why do people make this shit up? I can think of nothing less funny than a heart attack.

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I’ve got a problem and it’s with my former employer Michael Arrington. It’s not a personal problem at all, it’s just that he’s not making sense when it comes to his little Firefox Tablet he’s trying to build. Oh, and be warned - the page is bogged down by a gazillion comments, which brings me to my main point:

Michael Arrington owns a blog network, not a hardware distribution company. I have no doubt in my mind that the man is gifted enough to create a piece of a hardware that’s related to the Internet somehow. My main issue is that TechCrunch thinks its little Firefox Tablet can be manufactured for around $200. Wait a second, did I say $200? Oh right, that’s what was originally said and then changed to $300 later on. So already the price dispute is becoming bullshit.

If the price for the tablet exceeds $400, it’s a pointless effort. You can scoop up an Eee PC, Dell E Mini or iPhone for cheaper and they’ll all do a lot more than just browse Firefox. I know you love web apps Michael, but take a breather for a second and think about all of this.

You claim you want a touchscreen and a built-in webcam all for ~$300? Ridiculous. I assume you’re trying to profit off this - after all, why else would you even go for it? After browsing around, I found 12-inch touchscreens online for around $300. I realize that buying in bulk could lower that, but you’re forgetting the guts of this thing: CPU, RAM, and your 4GB SSD you requested. Bro, for $300, you are not getting this. I don’t care if you go as open-source as possible. There is just no way in hell TechCrunch is going to produce a touchscreen Internet browser to run web applications for $200 $300.

The specs he’s asking for, specifically, are:

Here’s the basic idea: The machine is as thin as possible, runs low end hardware and has a single button for powering it on and off, headphone jacks, a built in camera for video, low end speakers, and a microphone. It will have Wifi, maybe one USB port, a built in battery, half a Gigabyte of RAM, a 4-Gigabyte solid state hard drive. Data input is primarily through an iPhone-like touch screen keyboard. It runs on linux and Firefox. It would be great to have it be built entirely on open source hardware, but including Skype for VOIP and video calls may be a nice touch, too.

Don’t forget the competition from existing Internet tablets like the Nokia N800, Michael.x

Finally, you ask your readers for help in building it. When your product is finished and goes to market, how will these people be fairly compensated for their work? That’s what I really want to know. I could go on and on for hours about this but I think I’ve summed up the flaws in Arrington’s idea quite nicely. Hey, if he succeeds in pulling it all off and shoving it in my face, more power to him. I’d buy a $200 Firefox Tablet.

Parametric Bookshelves look hip, sensible and certainly colorful. But unfortunately, there’s more than meets the eye. See, these bookshelves are the product of some clusterfuck orgy between Columbia University’s Graduate School of Architecture, Italian architectural firm Tiazzoldi and Research Lab NSU. Essentially, it’s an ivy-league bookshelf that is so pretentious, it only holds Ayn Rand novels.

Sounds pretty rad and all, save for the pretentiousness, right? Wrong! You just bought a fucking bookshelf for holding shoes!

Parametric Stalactites is the new design proposal by Tiazzoldi.org for a luxury Italian shoe brand. It has been conceived as an adaptable layout for a shoe store.

Boom. Have a colorful living room? Might as well get one of these.

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You know what? Fuck Energizer and fuck that stupid pink bunny who keeps going and going. Batteries suck. I hate paying $4 for a 9V battery as much as you do. In fact, it’s absolute bullshit. So as a bullshit company, it makes perfect sense for Energizer to introduce yet another battery format to the market. This time around, it’s AAAA batteries, which no devices use.

This ultra-small battery is supposedly designed for small electronics use. DAPs, Bluetooth headsets, wireless headphones and a bunch of other shit that can be avoided. I mean, what digital audio player doesn’t come with a rechargeable battery? Even the Zune has one.

I’d recommend avoiding AAAA electronics like the plague. Your dick might fall off.

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