Ists OK Occifer, I Used My iBreath Too Drirve!
Occifer, Oficer. I’m surry about this misucnderstandingish thing.
Look, I’ll be honesth with you. Really, I want to. Really.
I was at’d thees party, right? Lotsta chicks. Everything goin’ well. I had, maybe, MAYBE, like six vodka tonics. I swear. OK, maybe seven but definly not moor than seven. UGH MY HEAD.
Look, Occifer. I got this iBreath thingie for my iFone. See, you just shlap it on there and blow in and ya getcher DUI breath thing readout I-forget-how-it-works-exactly. See? I blew a .24, which is a really high score, meaning I win! Right? Right?
Sir! Let go ofth me! I’m nort dorunk! I spent $80 on this fucking thing! CALL MY WIFE!!!