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Sleep machine gives you eight hours in only three

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Insomnia and lack of sleep is probably the number one cause of many accidents associated to automobile fatalities (finish him!) and on-the-job tasks. People just don’t have the time that they used to. Thanks to the University of Wisconsin-Madison, we all might be sleeping more soundly, in a less amount of time.

A machine currently in testing uses what’s called transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), which induces the brainwaves associated with R.E.M. sleep patterns. No, not the band. The sleeping phase. We don’t need a machine for the band. Especially with their latest album releases. Spare us, please. The machine supposedly knocks you out with the push of a button. Do you see this going anywhere? Be brutally honest. — Andrew Dobrow

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Full body cyborg suit coming next year, humans given two more years to live

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The Daiwa House Industry Co. has created a full bodied cyborg that looks like something you might see at your local movie theater. The exoskeleton was designed to assist those who have difficulties moving around on their own. Those people will know be able to survive nuclear explosions. We joke.

When the user wants to move a limb, the suit reads your brainwaves and conveys the info to the corresponding part of the suit which will than move. Scarily enough, the cyborg suit goes on sale and lease next year. Well, it was nice ruling the world. Us humans had a good run. — Andrew Dobrow

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