I wonder what my grandmother would think of me if I got her these creative $29 bookmarks for her birthday. The set of three comes with bookmarks that resemble milk, blood and mercury. While the milk is cute, I’m sure the blood would earn me a disapproving glare from her reading chair.

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Blood transfusions used to be a silly business involving long waits for donors that required compatible blood types. Thanks to stem cell research, waiting for these donors is no longer necessary. Scientists have used embryonic stem cells to generate blood which could eventually lead to an unlimited supply of type O-negative blood, the most sought after blood for transfusions.

“We literally generated whole tubes in the lab, from scratch,” said Robert Lanza, chief science officer at Advanced Cell Technologies.

Unbelievable, but don’t stop donating blood just yet, Lanza and his colleagues at the Mayo Clinic and University of Illinois devised this method of blood creation but have yet to test it on animals, much less humans.

“At this stage, the work is very promising, but has not progressed to the stage where the cultured cells are fully equivalent” to natural cells, said the organization in a statement. “Much more work will yet be needed before this becomes a practical reality.”

Well, I guess it’s back to the Red Cross donation center for me.  With an immunity to AIDS just a gene edit away and a cure for cancer just over the horizon, the future is looking bright for all of mankind.

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Not much is known about this red lamp that’s shaped like a huge cupcake diamond. It’s produced by IARF (Interior Adventures For Real) who I assume has quite a sense of humor. For real.

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Blood drips, poker and sex. What do these three things have in common?

Answer: A table. It’s called “Paint Or Die But Love Me” and freaks me the fuck out. Just like these make me want to piss my pants in terror.

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Trying to fashion your bathroom in a serial killer theme? You’ll need this electronic bloody shower curtain inspired by the famous scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. Guests are sure to be startled by the motion-activated Psycho music clip, complete with a screaming woman that’ll make anyone cringe. It’ll go great with those homicidal clothes hangers and no one will ever mess with you once they’ve seen your bathroom.

If that doesn’t scare them, you could always whip out your WASP knife for shits and giggles. It’s a $20 dollar must-buy and runs on three AA batteries.

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If you’re one of the many who suffer from diabetes and your glucose levels are so sporadic that driving any distance could lead to unpredictable results, then this device is for you. Medtronic Diabetes unveiled its new car, a Lincoln equipped with a system that wirelessly associates your glucose monitor with a screen on the dashboard to make driving safer for those suffering from diabetes.

Receiving readings of your sugar ridden blood through both audio and visual cues from the vehicle’s dashboard is just what your doctor ordered. At the moment, the car is merely a concept and there is no word on any commercial release information. Guess you’ll have to keep that insulin pump handy in the mean time.

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If you’re like me, a lard ass who needs to check his blood all the time, then you’re in luck. There is underwear that checks your blood pressure and I even like the color. Using a sensor attached to the waste (good luck rocking a belt), the underwear measures your pulse and calculates blood pressure from there, ultimately letting you know how out of shape you are:

Each sensor continually measures the electrical impedance of the tissue beneath it – a property that changes as the pulse wave passes by. A pair of such sensors can calculate the speed of the pulse wave by timing how long it takes to travel from one sensor to the other.

Once calibrated with a conventional blood-pressure reading, the electrodes can then give accurate blood-pressure readings, while the wearer enjoys the comfort of their own underpants.

And enjoy the comfort of our own underpants, we will.

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This concept from John Mielke would implant a special device under your skin which communicates via Bluetooth to your gadgets. Using a special smart-ink pixel painted on to your skin, the device projects a digital tattoo of a phone on your skin which you can interact with like a touchscreen. There’s even the potential to transmit 3G video conversations on your arm.

The device itself is powered by your own blood, converting oxygen and glucose into energy to pump up its fuel cell, so this concept isn’t one which will be popular with the bloodless crowd such as zombies, trees, or Rush Limbaugh (burn!). — Andrew Dobrow

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