I don’t know about you but I’m always doing one of three things: smuggling drugs in from Canada, wearing a shirt, or sleeping. It’s a tough life, I know. Luckily, there’s the Xip3, a shirt that turns into a backpack and a pillow when you need it. Equipped with Polartec 200 lining, it’s a pretty ideal shirt for rough conditions in nature. Perfect for that frosty morning hike in the woods of Maine.

You wouldn’t want to wear this warm shirt in the summer but you don’t want to put it away. A little folding action and you have yourself a durable backpack for a picnic. After you consumer copious amounts of wine and bread, pass out on the grass in comfort by turning your backpack into a pillow. You see? It’s like a virtuous cycle of comfort and convenience.

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Now this isn’t your typical backpack, so don’t go filling up that trendy pontoon bag with charcoal and lighting it on fire. Lazzari has gotten it right with its new Baja BBQ Backpack. It’s a container made up of 100% recycled paper pulp and contains two pounds of charcoal.

In short, you grab your grill, throw the BBQ Backpack in there, light it on fire and in 20 minutes, you have a nice set of glowing coals to cook your meats and treats on. No price is available, but you should see these popping up in gourmet grocery stores (Whole Foods, Wegmans, Trader Joes) in the near future.

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Crutches that break down into a backpack sound great on paper. It’s hip. It’s trendy. I even like the colors. A disabled person is never going to utilize a bag like this, though. The reason? They can’t walk, so what’s the point of putting crutches on your back…for sitting down? They do fold up into a cool triangular bag. Maybe that’s worth something to someone who sprained an ankle.

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Camping can be a real blast with some buddies and cold brews, but tugging along a boat with you can be a real bitch, especially if you don’t have a trailer hitch on your car. Thankfully, the 21st century has given way to the Backpack Inflatable Pontoon Boat. In under 15 minutes, you can assemble a full pontoon boat for you and your posse to ride downstream.

Weighing only 42 pounds, this sturdily built backpack won’t kill you (if they can do it in the Army, you can sure as hell do it for a vacation.) Each pontoon clocks in at a full 8′ long and can hold up to 350 pounds together. At $237, this is fun you and your friends can afford by giving up beer pong for a week.

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I’m loving the look of this laptop bag from BUILT, an small NYC-based company. Part carrying case, part kevlar vest, the Laptop Backpack is made from lightweight Neoprene that keeps your precious Macbook Air secure and safe. No word if it has room for a huge Apple AC adaptor but if you’re in a pinch, you can easily downsize.

BUILT included three pockets for your doo-dads and Nintendo DS, so you should have a decent amount of space for such a thin-looking bag. Score one for $80 or keep using that bag you got at Whole Foods.

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Despite the fact that there have been giant leaps in terms of ergonomics for gadgets, overuse can still cause your body to feel as if it’s falling apart. If they didn’t, there would be no market for massage items such as these. The Massaging Backpack might still cause you to ache, but at least it provides a solution for a sore back.

Remote controlled, the Massaging Backpack works your back muscles with a customizable pulse and rumble which is supposed to ease your pain, at least better than a Boombox Backpack could. Whether it actually accomplishes this goal is debatable. Get your for around $63. — Andrew Dobrow

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Not for those with severe scoliosis, the Reppo II Backpack Boombox from designer Joonas Saaranen packs in a pair of full-range speakers and an amplifier for jamming to tunes as you stroll around campus, as well as providing everyone around you with a bass-induced migraine. Needs more sub-woofer (and cowbell).

So far, Saaranen has gotten as far as creating a functional prototype for the Reppo II, yet has no comment on whether he plans on pursuing a mass-production of the backpack. Could it be the reestablishment of the boombox as we know it? — Andrew Dobrow

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When we were young lads, we weren’t like the other kids that wanted to be doctors and firemen. We idolized a man by the name of Luke Skywalker. We wanted to be him as he trained under Master Jedi teacher Yoda. In the depths of our hearts, there is still a place that wishes we could be good Luke. The Yoda Backpack allows us to further deepen our fantasies, while holding more than just an elderly scholar on our backs.

One thing that might bug you is that the face of the Yoda backpack looks more like an aging midget than Yoda. But what can you expect from plush? Available now for $37.99. — Andrew Dobrow

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Who needs a laptop, honestly? All you need is a MacPack strapped to your shoulders and your good to go on your merry way. If your still using an old Mac daily than you probably shouldn’t do this unless you’re a wiz with hardware, just in case you screw up and lose all of your data. But really, if your using an old Mac everyday, it’s time for an upgrade, dude. — Andrew Dobrow

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Firefox merch is probably some of the best merch that money can buy. If you are one of the very inteligent people across the world who have made the decision to be a convert of a clean and extendable browser, that little picture of a T-Rex head should be very recognizable to you. While it isn’t the Firefox symbol, it is the symbol for Mozilla (they make Firefox). This very nice backpack that is made by Ogio Metro lets you show off your technical knowledge without you saying anything. Also, if you happen to be one that likes to thrash your backpack, this comes with a 30-year warrantee. They obviously stand behind the quality of their products, which says about the company as a whole. So why is this a backpack for your laptop? It has a ceter storage area for your large stuff, a laptop sleeve that opens from the side, a place for your power cords and mouse, and as stated before, the dino head is freakin’ sweet! This backback is being sold for a reasonable $70. For laptop protection, it’s definitely worth it. — Nik Gomez

Mozilla Ogio Metro Backpack [via Uncrate]