Gearfuse

Alright, alright. Look, I’d love to bash Microsoft’s latest attempt at search but the truth of the matter is that I can’t. Bing is wonderful. Know why? Live video preview. If you move your mouse over a video, it automatically starts playing so you can check out clips before you click them. Get what I’m saying? So all you have to do to get your daily fill of pornography is type in the word “tits” and click Search. Your day will be infinitely better. Give it a run. I think you’ll find that while Bing is no Google-killer just yet, it packs features that will keep you fapping for hours to come.

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Choose your method of death. Quick and painless with a simple shot to the head, or slow and potentially agonizing, featuring clogged arteries and clotted organs. One of the methods is much more delicious than the other. The choice is yours.

The BA-K-47 is just awesome. What else can possibly be said about an AK-47 made out of bacon? It’s a gun you wouldn’t mind having shoved in your mouth.

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It’s Friday. Time for the slumber party. You’ve been waiting all week for this moment. The evening will come, you’ll drive over your buddy’s house, pick up a pizza for everyone and settle into the basement. You’ll watch movies, throw some darts and maybe even sneak a beer! But when everyone gets tired and The Running Man is wrapping up on TV, you’ll be king of the castle.

Why? Because you have a sleeping bag that resembles a gigantic fucking bear. You’re a star.

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When you combine beer and tools, men just can’t help but get excited. That’s why this cheap $18 bottle opener set is the perfect gift for your boyfriend or husband. Watch the look of joy on his face appear as he realizes you haven’t gotten him the standard Craftsman fare, but a powerful set of beer-crackers. So crack a cold one, and toast to the things we do for love. And beer.

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It’s Friday and you know what that means: Ryan is menstruating again.

We’re currently locked in a heated battle over IM on who reigns supreme in the world of music: Metallica or Judas Priest. It all started when I told Ryan that anything Metallica did in the 1980s was harder than Judas Priest or any other band, including but not limited to, Iron Maiden. I’m talking about some heavy shit here. We’re talking albums like Master of Puppets, …and Justice for All and Ride The Lightning. Chugging guitars, pounding drums and James Hetfield belting out rough vocals at metal fans across the globe. Their fucking name is Metallica, for crying out loud!

Now Ryan’s argument. He says: “While Metallica’s band members were still feuding over who would play bass in their high school battle of the bands, Judas Priest had already begun touring across England in the early ’70s. Vince seems to think that due to Rob Halford’s sexual orientation, Judas Priest is incapable of rocking hard (Not true!) Clearly he’s missed out on such songs as Blood Red Skies and Beyond The Realms of Death. It was the ’80s which brought Judas into the mainstream, but the late ’70s is when they truly shined. Metallica’s Lars was busy crying about Napster and the music industry while Judas was winning a lawsuit over a fan who thought that Judas’ metal was so rockin‘ that the music was asking him to literally go ‘Beyond The Realms Of Death’.”

Whatever. Our points have been made. After the jump, a music video for Metallica’s “For Whom The Bell Tolls” and a video for Judas Priest’s “So and So.” Watch them both and then leave us a comment, letting us know who’s better. This one is your call.

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Earlier, Ryan spotted some DIY speakers made from paper cups and a pair of headphones. Now Arms22 is one-upping designer Dimitry Zagga with speakers made from Starbucks cups. They actually use a power amplifier, meaning they’ll crank your tunes out at a respectable volume. If you want to make your own, go for it, as the instructions are available online. The caveat? They’re in Japanese.

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Just like the title says, it’s a Smart Car Monster Truck. There’s no car crushing (lame) but it’s quite a sight to see.

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Just a heads up to anyone who doesn’t get our RSS feeds, etc. We’re giving away a sweet $130 Jawbone Bluetooth headset. Want one? Click here to find out more.

PARTY RATS IN FULL EFFECT!

Verse:

Yo what up I’m Vince and I’m here to say
That after gettin’ drunk I’m hittin the par-tay
Gotta show up in style, get my hot pants on
Use a jockstrap to increase the size of my dong

Get to the party and I see it’s a rave
Can’t show up without a party fave
Take off my jeans, put on a party hat
All I need now are my PARTY RATS!

Chorus:

PAR-TY RATS!
Lighting up on your fingers like a laser zombie

YES! IT’S THE PAR-TY RATS!
One for each finger, five colors can’t hate

Verse:

Three hours in and I’m feeling kinda loose
I decide to mix some vodka with the party juice
Got girls on my cock and fingers in the air
Waving ’round the PARTY RATS like I JUST DON’T CARE

My thumb is black and my pinky is blue
Don’t like my PARTY RATS? Who cares! FUCK YOU
This party is trash so I’m hitting up the club
Drinking with my posse all night, bottles in the tub

Chorus:

PAR-TY RATS!
Can you believe I wrote this shit?

YES! IT’S THE PAR-TY RATS!
Want to buy some? You’ll need dollars, about six.

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I have no idea who made this comic or when it was released but it’s pretty much the most awesome issue ever. Looks like Afrika Bambaataa and his Renegades of Funk are about to invade Planet Rock. Prepare for an assault – of music!

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