TAG RESULTS FOR: awake

In my younger and more vulnerable years, I owned many action figures from the hit TV show Transformers. Of course, in those years we didn’t have access to bitchin’ projector clocks with Optimus Prime’s head mounted for show such as this one. This decapitated Optimus Prime voices your favorite phrases from the show, like “Autobots transform and roll out.” You’ll awake swearing that you, yourself are an Autobot. I’m here to assure you: you’re not. It’s $37 dollars, which isn’t... Continue reading

This is exactly what I need: an alarm clock that throws a tantrum, immediately awakening me from any dream I’m having, no matter how provocative. It’s the kind of clock that’d give any elderly person sleeping beside it a heart attack. This isn’t that bullshit Da Vinci Alarm clock, either. It actually tells time. Five minutes before the alarm goes off its feet and body will start glowing. That’s your first warning that the shit is about to hit the... Continue reading