Sometimes, when I’m hanging out with Mel Gibson, we like to play Niptwist. What’s Niptwist, you ask? It’s a game when I take an adjustable wrench and then clamp down on Mel’s nipples. He screams in delight and then begs for more. After about 45 minutes of this, Gibson passes out and mumbles some anti-semetic rant.

Little does Mel know that tomorrow I’m going to have an advantage in our game of Niptwist. I plunked down $27 for the Black and Decker Auto Wrench. What does $27 get you? Try an automatic adjustable wrench with 220 ft-pounds of torque. That’s enough to turn William Wallace’s balls/nips/dick more purple than Barney. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, bitches.

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We’ve all misplaced our car keys at one point or another. The problem lies around two o’ clock in the morning when you’re shit-faced drunk, have no money for a cab and your keys fall into a sewage drain.

No worries. Wired has the solution. It explains in detail all that is required to get your car up and running without the need of your car keys. Hopefully, you can prove you’re the owner of the vehicle you’re driving after getting caught by police thanks to some wicked anti-theft devices. Other than that, all that is required is some wire strippers and a flat head screwdriver. Grand theft auto has never been easier!

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A Thai youth confessed to robbing and murdering a taxi driver while trying to recreate a scene from Grand Theft Auto 4. It is said that he was curious about whether or not it was as easy to steal a taxi in real life as it is in the game. Well kid, it is. Was your curiosity worth the pending charge that could result in death by lethal injection?

In an effort to disparage future occurrences of impressionable kids gone mad, Sakchai Chotikachinda, sales and marketing director of New Era Interactive Media has urged distributors to pull the game from their shelves. This is the worst news we’ve heard since Rockstar Games declared a GTA for the DS. We all know no gamer is more impressionable than a Nintendo fan boy.

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So, you thought Nintendo DS had nothing more to offer than some Nintendogs and Pur Pals? Think again, you wannabe veterinarian. A new Grand Theft Auto was announced exclusively for the Nintendo DS. Bringing a whole new storyline to Liberty City, Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars will be your one (and only) chance to show those Triads that you don’t fuck around, you mean business.

Being the first GTA title for the DS, you can bet there will be a custom game engine designed for the game that will utilize the DS’s touch screen, though no specific details have been announced. We’re just hoping it has the classic top-down view from the original Grand Theft Auto we all know and love.

Chinatown will require players to “uncover the truth behind an epic tale of crime and corruption within the Triad crime syndicate,” says Rockstar.

Wait.. “an epic tale of crime and corruption?” Where have I heard this before? Hit the jump to find out:

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Car companies are trying every day to get our minds off of high gas prices and onto things like alternative fuels and concept designs. Volkswagen is the latest car manufacturer to release a slew of concept renderings and this time, it’s a blast from the….future? These three vehicles are supposed to be what cars will look like in the year 2028, which is 20 years from now.

Above, you’ll see the Ego, a sporty two-seater with crazy futuristic styling and plenty of technology. There’s a driverless vehicle called the VW Room that is designed to hold your entire family and promote interactivity. As one would expect, these vehicles don’t use gasoline. Hit the jump for more pictures of VW’s envision of the future of the automobile.

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Now this is just a longshot but I think that designer Dale Mathis might be into cars. I mean I’m no expert but I would imagine that a coffee table full of car parts and metal would appeal to the automobile enthusiast. The gears move in continuity together as you sit on your couch, eyes gazing down upon pound after pound of metal.

At $21,000, it’s a cool table and all but expensive as shit. I could see this table at a Ferrari dealership or an upper-scale custom motorcycle shop. Ryan’s living room? Not so much.

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We’ve been looking at fridges lately, we know that you can grow strawberries, frost and defrost your food there, we also reported that fridge doors can open from either side. Today Hitachi is rising the bar by introducing the world’s first auto drawer for your fridge, whether you want to open or close it, close it in the middle of opening, they’re all as simple as a button press. So no more embarrassment for having difficulty in opening those drawers when you bought too much potato, no more hassle when you don’t have hands at all (use your foot to kick the button). The automatic drawers will be used on Hitachi’s top line of fridges, the first model R-W5700 with 565L of storage will be available later this month with a whooping price of 2600USD. –Sam Chan

Press Release [Hitachi]