Gearfuse

So the TED conferences and talks are in full effect. Imagine you were there. What’s the shittiest thing you could do to an audience listening patiently to every word you have to say? OK, so whatever you thought of, you’ll need to double it because Bill Gates pissed everyone off the other day. How so? By releasing a jar of about 10 mosquitoes inside the conference hall and letting them go after attendees.

Why do such a thing? Gates was bitching about malaria in third-world countries. Jerk off.

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When I was growing up, I had a friend named Kyle. Kyle loved LEGOs almost as much as I did, except he had one problem: he kept building huge cocks. That’s right. Dicks everywhere. He’d come over and build a replica of the Twin Towers shaped like dicks, a dick-shaped sentry gun, make a dick-shaped lake and then some. He’s exactly the kind of kid who would make a LEGO version of Stephen Hawking.

I was going to take this seriously. I gave the creator the benefit of the doubt that they actually took a novel interest in Hawking. Boy, was I wrong. Click ahead to see the lil’ guy on MARS and Space!

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I’m sure you and your friends think your ex is a real cunt, but is that any way to talk to a lady? Absolutely not. Alternatively, you could get her this thong. Aside from the fact that a thong just screams class, this one says “YOU ARE VISITOR: 002637″ on the front part. She’ll not only hate you getting it for her, but she’ll also use it to get revenge when your best friend goes to fuck her during your grad party.

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Apparently, you can buy keychains with live goldfish in them in China. It’s not only a stupid idea, it’s also sick and cruel. Though I’ll happily eat fish any day of the week, this serves no purpose other than to hold your keys and torture an innocent goldfish.

Whoever made this is one retarded fuck. Let’s throw him in a keychain and see how he likes it.

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