Gearfuse

This is fucking creepy. I don’t care about that stupid expression “art for art’s sake,” because when my dead relatives are involved, it’s just fucking weird. See this bird feeder? Looks nice and cheeky, right? Wrong. It’s made from bird feed and human ashes. Yeah, like cremation and all that. The idea is that the bird eats it and you’re reincarnated through a bird. I say that’s bullshit because reincarnation doesn’t exist and we should get to choose what animal we want to become. I want to become a grizzly bear, not a fucking Blue Jay.

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Is this some kind of a sick joke? This knitted doll looks nothing like me. Well, maybe the hair. Regardless, Hannah J. Simpson made this knitted Ash doll that’s supposed to be me, but doesn’t look a thing like me. Good thing she’s not selling these, otherwise you’d be getting ripped off.

Buying a doll with my name on it that lacks the rugged Latin features which truly characterize myself is like buying a monotone soccer ball. No flavor, no spun-wait a second…

…Is this supposed to be Ash Williams from the Evil Dead movies? It all makes sense, now.

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