Gearfuse

What are babies known for? Mainly pooping and screaming. That’s just the nature of the early human life. And who can blame them? The only problem is that the screaming is almost impossible to decipher through the human year. To us, it’s all just screaming. But apparently there are at least five different types of cries and the Cry Translator iPhone app claims it can distinguish between them all.

The Cry Translator helps decode the mysterious yiping of your newborn, dividing the scream’s cause into one of five basic categories: hungry, sleepy, annoyed, stressed, bored. It might be hard to believe, but the app claims it can “reduce overall infant crying.” And for $9.99, that’s a little piece of heaven for new parents.

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So you’ve lost your car… again. How many times have you forgotten where you parked? It happens to the best of us, but everyday? Come on, you should probably go visit a neurologist or something.

If he has trouble squeezing you in, here’s a nice back-up plan. The $.99 iPhone app Car Finder uses augmented reality to help you find your car. Car Finder guides you to your car using easy to follow walking instructions and even marks your spot with a little icon. Now all you have to do is remember to actually set the app before you leave your car.

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Dance party time! This has been on the top of my application wish list as long as I can remember having one. According to an industry executive in the know, Hulu is developing a “badass” iPhone application which would allow users to watch video over both Wi-Fi and 3G connections.

While other video web applications have taken a stab at the iPhone application arena, such as Joost and TV.com, Hulu is totally set to blow them out of the water. Which really won’t be that challenging. Have you ever used Joost’s app? Yikes. The only question is will Apple approve an app which poses such competition to their iTunes video store? It sure could help sell more iPhones.

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Are you on the popular social networking website Facebook? I am. I added Burger King’s new Whopper Sacrifice application yesterday too and deleted 10 of my friends in exchange for a free Whooper. Each time you delete a friend, their Facebook photo burns up in a series of faux flames and they are notified via email that you deleted them because you’d rather have a Whopper.

It really wasn’t tough finding ten people on Facebook that I wanted to delete. I just needed a reason and a juicy burger was sufficient enough. This is one of the most twisted, yet delicious, marketing ploys I’ve ever encountered.

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The Google team has long dreamed of the possibility of carrying the Earth around in its pocket. Now, Google Earth is official; the team’s dream has come true. With an iPhone or iPod touch, it’s no problem flying from Bermuda to the Bahamas or any other locale mentioned in the Beach Boys’ song, Kokomo. Whether this global imagery software will become of any use to its users or just another app to pass time while waiting for the bus remains to be said, but we can’t wait to climb Mount Everest from the safety of our cozy office chairs.

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Way to be lame, Facebook. Thanks to Facebook being a bitch and blocking Google’s Friend Connect service, Facebook in turn will not develop a standalone application for Android. This comes as a huge disappointment to both myself and Google. A lot of people are addicted to Facebook and although the G1 handles the normal Facebook website just fine, a dedicated app like the iPhone’s would have been nice.

No dice. We’ll see what the future holds but let’s not hold our breath.

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In a terrible attempt to stay partisan, we’ll just point you to the link on the iTunes store where you can download a Obama/Biden ‘08 iPhone application. It has campaign news, an Election Day ticker, donate button and plenty of other information. You can even call your friends to get the word out. Anyone used it? Decent? Since McCain has admitted he’s out of touch with technology, I doubt we’ll see an iPhone app from him anytime soon.

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Remember Apple’s dirty little secret? It’s no mystery that Apple has complete control over your iPhone, after all, Apple made it. Well, it turns out that that shoddy little news about a blacklist is possibly true. Daringfireball.net (they’re gay for iPhones) reports how potentially malicious or useless applications that don’t meet Apple’s standards could be revoked not only off of the App Store but also off of any individual iPhone carrying the app.

It is not a blacklist for disabling apps completely, but rather specifically for preventing any listed apps from accessing Core Location — an API which, for obvious privacy reasons, is covered by very strict rules in the iPhone SDK guidelines.

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Did you know that Apple has complete control over your iPhone? If you download an application from the App Store that is later removed, like I Am Rich, it’s normally no big deal. There’s simply no cause for alarm. But what if someone had uploaded a secret malicious application and it was installed on iPhones across the country?

No problemo. Apple can remotely remove applications from your iPhone whether you like it or not. It’s more of a safety precaution and makes sense if you take a second to think about it. However, this also means Apple could help the government out if need be. Watch your back, kid.

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From smug asshole and (possibly) Nazi extraordinaire Armin Heinrich comes the most ridiculous iPhone app of all time. It costs $999, which is the highest priced application available, and does not do anything. It displays a glowing red gem. Know why? Because you’re rich. In fact, that’s what the app is called. I Am Rich. Yup.

Apple takes a 30-percent cut of all apps sold on the App Store, so that’s $300 it gets while Armin takes home $600 because he’s a bastard. Bastard.

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