Wallowing in your own self pity while drinking away your sorrows with a glass full of gin and tonic just got even more depressing. Gin & Titonic is an ice cube mold that is shaped to depict miniature Titanics and icebergs that can “sink in your drink.” Jason Amendolara of Fred Studio designed a single ice tray capable of creating four ocean liners and four icebergs. Talk about overkill.

For a conversation piece or just to show everyone you’re the asshole at the party who likes to remind everyone of sorrowful times, Gin & Titonic is a great way to provide bitter neglect for lost lives and, at the same time, get a good buzz going.

Link (via)

Sure, in 1821 Louis Braille created a language for the visually impaired. But did you know it was made famous by mute-extraordinaire Helen Keller? Seems this rare artifact was discovered in some guy’s backyard. It appears to be a wine bottle from Lazarus Wine with braille writing all over it. It adds fuel to my theory that Keller wasn’t mute, but rather was just an angry drunk, slurring her words violently and stumbling around in a drunken haze. After all, when you’re tanked, you can’t see or speak straight and usually don’t pick up on someone talking to you unless they’re hot.

Wait. This is a bottle of wine from Lazarus Wine that’s current? It’s designed to promote ethical marketing? What the fuck! My theory is busted!

Link

I must admit, this is one of the most unique ways you could ever consume alcohol. The kit comes with a few caulk cartridges and a gelatin substance. Mix your boiling water with the flavored gelatin, add hard liquor, insert into the cartridges and play the waiting game. Eight hours later, you have a concoction similar to that of the infamous Jello shot that can be pumped into party goer’s mouths with a caulk gun. It’s no Tequila Gun but it gets the job done.

Watch the video to the end to see a chick put it in her mouth and take one for the team. Priceless.

Link (via)

Raise your hand if you you like to get drunk and play video games. Alright, now that your boss is wondering why you just stuck your hand in the air, you might as well give in to your inner-gamer and quit. I mean, after purchasing this Portal-themed beer stein for $15, you’re going to be spending all your time drinking booze and playing The Orange Box on a water-cooled PS3.

There’s really not much to it. See how the portal opens up and the beer makes its way from the tap to the stein? Just move the stein and open wide. If you get really wasted, you can use that Tequilla Squirter to pretend you’re Gordon Freeman.

Link (via)

If you live in a major city, you know about the crazy homeless religious fanatics which turn up every so often at a major street corner, clutching a Bible to their chest and preaching about the upcoming apocalypse and how we’re all going to burn in hell. Meanwhile, Pastor Hobo over here is chugging booze through out his whole sermon.

For true drunken religious fanaticism, you need an expert solution for hiding your booze. And since most of these hobos remember every verse from the Bible anyway, they luckily don’t need a complete book. The Good Book from Suck UK is truly a great book for the nomadic preacher, hiding a 4oz flask within its “pages”, and would sure make an awesome prop for the next Tarantino flick.

Link [via]

You feelin’ lucky today, punk? Well, shazzzam! If you need a new accessory for your Whiskey Holster, you might be very lucky indeed. The Hijos de Villa Tequila Gun chooses to opt out the violence of bullets, and replace every “shot” with 200ml of tequila in all of its drunk-aiding glory.

You know what would be awesome? Drinking all of the Tequila (since that’s the only way you’ll ever be drunk enough to do this), replacing it with urine, and threatening to shoot it at your friends. Or random strangers on the street. That works too. People will assume you’re spraying them with tequila (or water, if they don’t see the label), and you’ll be able to snicker slightly to yourself as you’re bathing people in piss. List price is $60, but they are currently out of stock.

Link [via] (more…)

Jim Beam me up, Scotty! Please excuse the horrible pun, but how many chances might I have to say that?  If you like mixing your Star Trek watching with a touch of the old nightcap, the Star Trek Enterprise Bottle Opener is the only proper way for a trekkie to pop open a brew.

This silvery doodad is a great way to show off your knowledge of sci-fi trivia, even when you have a blood alcohol level that’s legally deemed as lethal. You can have your very own Enterprise Bottle Opener for around $24. (more…)

If you’ve been known to be a bit of a wino (maybe even perusing your share of fine art), you probably know that allowing the air to hit your wine is an important part of the tasting experience. Sure, sticking a penis in the bottle will stop the air from reaching it too early, but what about when you actually want to drink it?

The Vinturi Wine Aerator not only allows the right amount of air to reach your wine, resulting in “a better bouquet, enhanced flavor, and a smoother finish”, but looks stylish at the same time. Get your for $36. — Andrew Dobrow

Link [via]

If your drinking buddies are the type of people to use the statement, “hammer down some shots”, the next time they utter these words you can offer them a little surprise with the Hammer Flask. The fully-working hammer is hollowed out in order to store your favorite beverage.

If you’re part of the manual labor workforce, a Hammer Flask can save you from flipping out on your supervisor. Just take a swig of the old Jack (hammer), and let your problems melt away. It would probably work wonders on pain if you were to miss a nail and hit your finger instead. Get your own for $20. — Andrew Dobrow

Link [via]