An Alcoholic Beverage for Zombies
Here’s a chaser for your zombie cupcakes. Nothing washes down brains better than more brains.
The brain-effect is caused by mixing acidic lime juice and Irish cream, which produces a curdled brainy mixture.
Port-A-Pint: For the Alcoholic on the Go
I have a major drinking problem. And that problem is that I can’t sit back with a chilly brew when I’m on the move. Whether I’m at work or waiting for the the train, I need a constant flow of beer flowing down my gullet and until now that just wasn’t possible unless I wanted to carry around one of those hobo specials, the brown bags of wonder. Because lord knows I can’t carry around my usual beer stein.
The Port-A-Pint collapsible beer cup has saved me from many a desperate situations. Passing a kegger party and totally cupless? No more! Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
DrinkTracker iPhone App Keeps Track of Your BAC
Well, this would have been nice to have known about this past Fourth of July weekend, wouldn’t it have been? The DrinkTracker iPhone application allows you to set a goal BAC while calculating an estimated current level based on what you’ve had to drink.
The DrinkTracker automatically compares your drink intake to your metabolic removal rate, calculating your BAC every 60 seconds. If it’s not 100% accurate, it at least provides a pretty smart estimate about where you stand if you’re not so good at keeping track of your liquor intake yourself. Wonder if it’ll ever have iBreath compatibility!
Beer In A Pouch
Look, I’ve talked about sneaking alcohol into concerts several times before. It’s something that we as men just have a natural need for when we’re rocking out and we’d like to save a buck while we’re at it. These beer pouches? Perfect for crotch stuffing. I bet you could cram a damn six-pack in between your ass cheeks no problem.
Disposable Flasks
The next time you head off to a baseball game, concert or event in a park, try bringing one of these nifty disposable flasks. They cost a mere $2.55 each, so they won’t break your wallet. The best part is that they initially come flat and grow bigger with more liquid, making it easier to stuff into your crotch right before the security checkpoint.
Crafts for Alcoholics: Butterfly Beer Can and Vinyl Wall Art
One recycling bin is hardly enough to hold the refuse of a single distinguished alcoholic. The problem is that sometimes your local recycling service limits your recyclable volume to one measly container. That leaves plenty of empty beer cans ready to be transformed.
Not an alcoholic himself, Paul Villinski had to resort to picking beer cans off of the street to create his Butterfly Beer Can wall art. The butterfly art is attached to the wall with suspension wire, giving the can crafts a three dimensional pop.
Chug Meter: Measure Your Binge Drinking
Have $25 and drink a ton of beer at parties? Slap down a Lincoln and Jackson and pick up this Chug Meter glass. It measures how much you can chug in one shot, essentially showing the world that you’re either a beer drinking champion or a big pussy.
Beer Soap: Bars of Soap Made With Your Favorite Lager
Does that special alcoholic in your life complain about how you so rarely smell like you’ve been drenched in booze? No longer with Beer Soap! Made with an assortment of smelly ingredients and a wide-range of beers, Beer Soap is the only personal washing material guaranteed to give you a buzz if eaten. (Admittedly, there are easier ways to do this.)
In other words, don’t be washing out your kid’s mouth with this stuff. Save it for washing out your own. Available in a nice variety of lagers, including Foster’s, Guinness and Samuel Adams.
Beer Blaster: Finally A Weapon To Use With Our Beer Holster
We’ve fooled around with a few alcoholic holsters in the past. Frankly, they all felt sort of empty. What’s a holster without a high-powered weapon? Sure, we still had multiple cans of beer to keep us busy, but we need to be shooting something WHILE we drink to really feel like real men.
The Beer Blaster allows you to literally shotgun a beer for a friend. Even if drinking beer from a plastic gun doesn’t sound like a good time (but really, how could that not be awesome?), you’re free to mingle through your party or barbecue, randomly shooting loved ones with booze when you feel like it. The Blaster itself will set you back $22. An accompanying holster costs $10 and the partnered belt costs $12. If you’re in the mood for something a little harder, give this a try. More pics and a promo video after the jump. (more…)