Gearfuse

Yo, girl! You comin’ from the Bronx?
Nah, bitch. I was sleepin’ like a fox.
Oh, true. You wanna go shop?
Of course, girl! Now watch me pop and lock (and kick it)

You know you want to dance
You’ve gotta move your feet
No more mister nice guy
Let’s move it off the street (now kick it)

My new purse is a boombox
From Audio Couture
Pumps out music from my iPod
These tunes become my cure (now kick it)

Stop, babe. Now hold on quick.
Last week you were all over his dick
Back off, bitch! Cant’cha see?
My shit got design from Loop NYC (said NYC)

You got a 3.5mm input
Now that’s a win

Just pick up your iPod and go to plug it in

Next thing thing you know, your ass will be shakin‘.

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OK, so take two parts awesome, one part iPod, add in a little bit of Bluetooth wireless connectivity and shake hard, very hard. The end result? The Miccus BluBridge for iPod. Just plug a small connector into your iPod and boom; you’re a streaming master, broadcasting tunes to any BluBridge audio setup. Did I mention the 330 foot range? That means you can chill with the chicks by the pool all whilst keeping the tunes blaring from your pocket. Very sweet.

At $59, you might as well plunk down another $129 and use the BluBridge mobile speaker. After all, your cousin borrowed $5000 last week for his latest “business endeavor” and you need to take a conference call with his investors. Thank goodness it doubles as a speakerphone for Bluetooth-enabled phones or we wouldn’t be here having this conversation. I’m serious. Way serious.

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I love my PS3 and all but I have to admit, typing messages to other players takes too long for it to be truly efficient. Enter Sony’s official keypad for the Playstation 3. It’s trying to sell it next month for $50. That’s nearly the cost of a DualShock 3 controller sans controller. Ouch. Still, I’m considering buying one so that I can make everyone’s life in LittleBigPlanet a living hell.

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I get it. You’re too classy to put all your Wii-motes into a shoebox. You want something that’s stylish and has “Wii” printed on it. The Wii Remocon storage accessory is just that. While it’s no shoe box, it can double as a pencil holder or a box you can shit in.

It’s $7.99 per Remocon which comes in black, aqua and plain white. A penny more and you’re getting robbed considering each box can only hold one controller. Who am I kidding? Paying any amount of money for this would be like buying a lap dance from a stripper without legs. That’s alright, though. Wii fans are suckers for lousy futile peripherals.

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Everyone has been holding their breath for the next eye-popping accessory to hit the Nintendo Wii. I just can’t get enough of great products like the Wii MotionPlus and Wii Sqweeze. Those are two accessories you simply can’t miss out on.

If you’re a Nintendo fanboy, then you’ll be excited to hear the news of Nintendo’s latest brilliant idea. It’s called “Let’s Tap,” and it adds a whole new element of gameplay to the Wii that you never thought imaginable: tapping. That’s right, tapping. An activity once used for passing time when you’re waiting around for the bus has now been given new life, thanks to the Nintendo Wii. Just set your Wiimote on top of its flat surface and begin tapping away. That’s all we know for now, but boy are we excited!

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For every Wii game released there exists a useless peripheral for the Wiimote. Wii Sports received those lame themed extensions for the controller just so that when you’re flailing your arms around like an idiot, you’ve got a greater chance of hitting someone.

The release of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed is no exception to this fact. For $20 bucks, you can equip two Wiimotes with lightsaber extensions to bring a whole new feel of immersion to your game. Or, you could go outside and play pretend – it’s basically the same thing.

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This might look like a miniature Death Star but, in actuality, it’s a top secret spy cam. The DVR CamBall is the first ever digital video camera and MP3 player that’s as small as a ping-pong ball and able to record at 320×240 or 640×480 resolutions. What better way to sneak a camera into top-secret facilities than to roll it under the door. Unfortunately, once it’s out of your grasp their is little you can do to aim it.

That’s fine though, since this thing’s got the capability to hold up to 8GB of photos with an SD card. At $200, it comes with a couple of accessories including a tassel to wear the camera around your neck and an underwater case for snorkling shots that’ll turn you into a marine biologist in no time.

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Remember the Wii MotionPlus, the gimmicky accessory that attaches to the end of the Wiimote to “more quickly and accurately reflect motions in a 3-D space?” It turns out Nintendo is getting some bad recognition regarding their lack of disclosure involving the accessory and third-party developers.

When third-party developers were asked of their opinions of the accessory, they all seemed to have the same answer. Responses showed feelings of annoyance and betrayal as developers claimed Nintendo simply withheld the information about the MotionPlus’ existence, prior to it being revealed last Monday. In other words, don’t expect third-party releases supporting the peripheral any time soon. God, Nintendo, I don’t care if the Wii Fit is good for something,  you’re still a company full of major assholes.

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With this new Wiimote accessory, I can’t help but be reminded of the N64 expansion slot, an accessory that should’ve been included with the system on day one. The Wii MotionPlus is physical proof that even Nintendo itself feels that its “revolutionary” motion capture control is faulty. It attaches to the end of the Wiimote to “more quickly and accurately reflect motions in a 3-D space.” Wait a second, wasn’t that what the Wiimote was supposed to do before this accessory was added on to it.

It “provides players with an unmatched level of precision and immersion.” So, Nintendo is saying that before this accessory, the Wii and its control scheme were not precise or immersive enough to surpass its competitors. Just slap this piece of plastic on the end and BAM! Unmatched action. I smell a rat.

“The Wii MotionPlus accessory reconfirms Nintendo’s commitment to making games intuitive and accessible for everyone.”

All this reconfirms is everything I’ve ever said about the Wii.

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Have you ever wanted a tabletop equalizer? No? Oh. Well this isn’t an equalizer, this is the SPEAQUALIZER! Yes! It’s true! For $40, this little baby will make colored lights hop and dance to all your tunes. The built-in mic helps it detect sound, so make sure the party is pumpin’ before you leave it on the coffee table for the night. Runs on four AAA batteries so it ends up costing way more than forty bucks.

Maybe if you indulge in a little LSD, it’ll become infinitely more valuable…

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