Gearfuse Technology, Science, Culture & More
There has been a metaphorical shit-storm of weird products recently, combining odd branding with some of the most obscure of gadgets. And while dropping a brand name on a box in order to sell a few more products isn’t necessarily rare, some of these branding combos are pretty out of this world. The eight gadgets which follow are not only items which have captured our imaginations, but at times have shocked us, made us laugh, and even drawn a tear of joy or two. Regardless of the oddness of the following, well, oddities, they don’t disappoint in the entertaining compartment. So, pull up an Ikea� lounge chair and take a swig of your favorite Pepsi-Cola� branded beverage and enjoy the show.
Ketchup Flavored Windows Chips
We knew Microsoft was having some problems with their newest software releases, but have their sales fallen so much that they have to resort to selling snack food in Egypt? Something in the back of our minds says that Bill Gates never approved such a product, or even knows about the use of the Windows brand to help sell the fried-tater skins. But we’re betting he’d totally dig the sweet, sweet condiment-themed ketchup flavor. Plus, it’s widely known that Egyptians are coo-coo for condiment flavored snacks, possibly giving the software monsters a 1up in the Middle East over software competitors such as Lays and Heinz.
Gmail might be one of the most secure and cleanest free e-mail providers when it comes to spam control (even though a recent hacking of the Google CAPTCHA has put users back at risk of receiving offers of male enhancement), but the fact that Russian’s feel that putting the logo on a bar of soap will make them smell any less like dirty communists is both odd and unlikely, not to mention angering to my nationalistic soul. Will people now make the sub-concious connection between soap and the fresh smell of a newly opened Gmail account?
Playboy issued these towels in order to advertise for an upcoming promotion which allowed normal folk to pose as the centerfold for a future issue of the classy porno mag. The downfall of such a product is that it probably drew the wrong crowd. Instead of hot future porn stars, the target audience was surely better apt to be a centerfold in Cat Fancy or Good Housekeeping.
Bill Gates and crew seem to have an odd affinity towards snack food-based marketing. The Microsoft Soda comes in the odd color selection of “BSOD Blue”, and is actually a re-branded version of Talking Rain sparking water. The Microsoft Soda must taste great when washing down a few handfuls of the Ketchup-flavored Windows Chips. But it bears the question, does the can crash when opened?
ICQ users are dirty, lazy nerds, who are more likely to be caught on a date than brushing their teeth. And that’s not saying much. The use of the ICQ logo might actually encourage some ICQ users to pick-up a toothbrush, therefore causing a worldwide toothbrush economy boom. Are we ready for such a dental rush? Do we have enough surplussed floss?
The mysterious Lego Man washed up on the Dutch shore of the Zandvoort resort, producing both apocalyptic hysteria and geek-induced glee. The source of the large Lego man was reportedly Dance Valley 2007. So why is a large Lego man so curious and intriguing? Well, how about that fact that it’s a FUCKING 8-foot tall LEGO MAN! It’s so magnificent that it deserves to be on every list ever made…ever.
Ford’s Car Part Musical Instruments
Ford used a disassembled Ford Focus to create a set of new musical instruments which were used by a band to create composition. Featured was such instruments as the Fender Bass, Door Harp, Clutch Guitar. Music, like math, is a universal language. Presented to the right audience, the instrumental car music could sell more automobiles than some crappy cliche commercial featuring steep mountain hills and driving through splashing creeks with some obscure country song being played in the background.
In one of their classic April Fool’s Day jokes, Google released their “faux” business plan for an all-new beverage called Google Gulp! Available for beta use only, the Gulp came in four flavors: Glutamate Grape, Sugar-Free Radical, Beta-Carroty, and Sero-Tonic Water. While Google’s use of an annual April Fool’s Day joke not only helps build a cult community, but sets the trend for a humorous tradition and instilling the corporation with a down-to-earth persona, what it doesn’t do is provide me with an actual refreshing beverage. Shame on you, Google.
— Andrew Dobrow
