If you’ve ever played around with one of those online “death calculators”, you know that knowing your own death date isn’t exactly a stress reliever. Not knowing when you’re gonna go is even more nerve wracking. A recent patent reveals this idea for a Life Expectancy Timepiece, which is surely the insurance company’s dream.
Relying on the same actuarial tables your insurance company users to come up with life insurance premiums, the watch works on the basis of asking the user about their “overall health of the individual, whether a person smokes cigarettes, consumes excessive alcohol, and genetic factors such as family histories of known diseases and recorded life spans”. We, as immortals, find no use for such meager tools of the trade. We’ll stick to our Time Watch, since we have lots and lots of that to spare. — Andrew Dobrow