Wipe your ass with hundreds? Fuck rare breeds of dogs in the Galapagos Islands? Are you married to Carla Bruni? Great. You’re going to love this new bottled water coming soon to your favorite luxury hotel. It’s called Tasmanian Rain and is made with 100-percent real marketing gimmick. Additionally, it also contains rainwater that has, and I quote, “never touched the ground.” Yes. This is some nasty ass rainwater from Tasmania, Australia. Fan-fucking-tastic. You can get some to wash down that foie gras you got at the Ritz-Carlton or Four Seasons. Better yet, power your calculator with it so you can waste money whilst counting it.
Oh and you can get it delivered to your home too. $60 for a case of 12 750 ml bottles and $75 for a case of 24 375 ml bottles. What has the world come to?