Tag Archives: weight

Doormat Scale Breaks Your Guests’ Spirits

And they really thought they could avoid weighing themselves by hiding their own scale. Nice try, fatty. There’s no way to avoid your morbid obesity now. There’s no blaming it on your big bones. The scale doesn’t lie. Either does the fact that you can’t fit through my door without shimmying ever so delicately. The Doormat Scale won’t let your ...

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Honda’s Walking Assist For The Sackless

I don’t know about you, but I’d find it quite difficult to take steps with this thing straddled in between my legs. Alas, it is Honda’s inevitable desire to give me blue balls with its latest device geared towards the disabled – the walking assist device with body weight support system. Honda is no stranger to assisted walking devices for ...

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Steve Jobs and The Search For A New Look

Jim Lynch over at Extreme Tech wrote a funny post we just couldn’t ignore. Almost the entire column goes over how much Steve Jobs is in dire need of a wardrobe intervention. All of his clothes are either too short or too baggy due to his recent loss of weight. C’mon Steve, you’ve got cash, you can afford leather. Anything ...

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Lotus Eco Elise Eats Grass, Shits Flowers

The Lotus Elise is a car known for its light weight and unique design. Now, those are all preliminary factors with the Eco Elise. Everything about this car circles around saving the world one step at a time. Water-based paint job? Check. Hemp, I repeat: Hemp interior? Check. Solar panels? Check. What the fuck does this car not have that’s ...

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Weight-Loss Belt For Fatties

Are you an overwhelming fat ass that just can’t shred those pounds because going to the gym is another chore on your list of things you won’t do? Well, your prayers have been answered! The Vibro Shape slimming belt is said to rid you of your beer-belly in favor of some sexy washboard abs. The belt can also be used ...

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LiveLuggage Makes Transporting Entire Wardrobe An Ease

No one likes hauling ridiculously heavy bags around the airport. LiveLuggage’s Power Assisted series uses a special wheel to make your traveling a heck of a lot more lightweight. This luggage is designed to distribute 85% of the total weight directly upon the wheels, making you feel you’re only carrying a fraction of it. The intelligent torque control powers the ...

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Overall Health Balance Scale Rates Your Health, Deflates Your Ego

Hey, fatty / string bean / muscle man / average weight person or otherwise. Yeah, I’m talking to you. Why must you lie to yourself? You think you’re so healthy, but trust me, there must be something wrong with you. And whatever it is, you bet your ass the Overall Health Balance Scale finds it and taunts you with it. ...

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When You Can’t See The Scale Over Your Protruding Gut…

…It’s time for a new scale. The Eye Level Wireless Scale allows you to read your weight, even if your tummy is too large to view the weight on a typical floor scale. Though, before the thought “Wow, I think I need a new scale” enters your mind, hopefully the thought “Wow, I really need to lose some weight” is ...

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A Belt That Shares Your Weight With The World

Rather than measuring by inches, this belt is designed to guesstimate your weight. The larger your waist, the higher the weight will show as with the Weight Belt. Using this belt in conjunction with the ego-crushing phone could solve your over-confidence issues in a snap. The problem with this is if you have a really large ass, or have your ...

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