Tag Archives: ass

How To Tan a Heart Onto Your Ass and Make Me Aroused at the Same Time

Here is a simple step-by-step DIY project to keep me aroused and simultaneously tan a heart shape on to your ass cheek. 1.) Wear this Bikini Mark swimsuit on a sunny day at the beach. 2.) Bring the inflatable beer pong table 3.) Have a body just like this swimsuit model Congratulations, I’m aroused and you are tanning like a ...

Read More »

iBum Chair Photocopies Your Ass

Your office’s photocopier isn’t really official until someone has photocopied their ass. Whether it be intentional or through some horrible accident I can’t even begin to comprehend, photocopying of the ass cheeks is a tradition wherever photocopiers are found. The iBum chair takes the ass copier out of the office and into your home. Whenever someone sits down in the ...

Read More »

Toilet Paper Holder That Shits With You

Here at Gearfuse, we can never fulfill our monthly quota of toilet paper related posts, but boy do we try. Speaking of toilet paper, one can never have enough toilet paper holders. Here’s a bathroom buddy kindly providing you with pampering services while it, too relieves itself on the John. It’s a hand-made, 7-inch tall sculpture which possesses a keen ...

Read More »

Honda’s Walking Assist For The Sackless

I don’t know about you, but I’d find it quite difficult to take steps with this thing straddled in between my legs. Alas, it is Honda’s inevitable desire to give me blue balls with its latest device geared towards the disabled – the walking assist device with body weight support system. Honda is no stranger to assisted walking devices for ...

Read More »

Klypsos, A New Use For The Paper Clip

When you’re at a kicking party that’s got a ton of free wine and hors d’oeuvres, your hands are bound to be full. With this re-imagined paper clip, however, holding a glass of wine with your dish full of appetizers will leave your other hand free to shake hands and/or grab asses. The Polish design studio Razy2 is calling this ...

Read More »

Where’s Vince?

Seriously, where’s Vince? Could he be rock climbing like this wire-clad lad attached to my fridge? Absolutely not. Vince couldn’t climb if his ass depended on it. I hear he’s in LA meeting with important people concerning important things exchanging important facts in an important room, but then again – what do I know?

Read More »

The Coffee Table That Makes You Horny

Owning a coffee table like this particular model is most likely going to freak out any ladies whom you’ve invited over for dinner. It’s got women’s undies pinned in between two pieces of glass, clamped together like a chasity belt. Additionally, the clamps also work as the table’s legs.Your friends willthink you made it yourself and obtained the garments either ...

Read More »

Kohler C3 Toilet Seat Will Clean Your Ass

I’m all for the bidet sometimes but nothing beats a good ol’ wipe of the ass with toilet paper. Plus, you can check and ensure you wiped properly and completely. With Kohler’s C3 toilet seat, you need not worry about running out of TP anymore. The seat includes a remote-controlled bidet that allows you to clean your ass out without ...

Read More »

DIY: Apple Spanking Paddle

Here’s a great way to show those pledges in your fraternity that you don’t fuck around with that Microsoft bullshit. After you’re done making them build the Statue of Liberty out of mashed potatoes and you’ve had them fuck a sheep (with a rubber, of course), then it is time for them to get the paddle. It’s not just any ...

Read More »