Star Wars Dark Side Apron Makes Empty Promises

I always heard so much about these fabulous cookies the Dark Side was supposed to offer. But once I joined the cause, there wasn’t a goddamn cookie in sight. In fact, I’m yet to have been rewarded with a single cookie, and I’ve single-handidly taken down at least 25 members of the Rebellion.

And the lies just keep being spread. This apron falsely promises that members of the Dark Side will be awarded cookies. Lies, I say! Sure, there’s all of that fine Dark Side booty and plenty of photo-ops, but cookies, I see not. Spread the falsity yourself for around $20.

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