The Six Mile Pencil: Writing For The Distance

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If you’ve ever been formally educated (which I assume you have, since you’re reading this article and not awaiting the next scheduled food ration air drop while you swat the flies away from your nipples. Flies love nipples,) then you are fully aware of the hours and hours and hours of time you’ve wasted scribbling useless knowledge, and wasting precious granite, using pencils that were most often than not lost within the next five minutes.

The Six Mile Pencil uses a ruled-pencil shaft (you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to use shaft in a sentence. Hehe, shaft.) to meter exactly how many miles you have scrawled. As you might have already guessed from the name, the Six Mile Pencil contains the equivalent of 6 miles of graphite, depending on the amount of pressure you use and how many times you BREAK THE DAMNED TIP OFF! Stupid pencils. Go sharpen yourself.

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