Sippy Mask Sucks Some Face

Resembling a hazmat mask made of bubble wrap, the Sippy Mask looks about as comfortable as a deep prostate exam and has a usage which is equally vague and nonexistent. But how can you go wrong with a face covering straw?

The Sippy Mask is also said to glow under a black light, which makes midnight sipping a glow-in-the-slightly-dark experience. If Muslim woman wore these instead of burka masks, drinking would no doubt be a hell of a lot easier. Oh, and you can buy the one in stock for $45. — Andrew Dobrow

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