Pentagon To Shoot Down Falling Satellite From The Sky, No Worries

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A rogue U.S. satellite is threatening to plummet into the Earth in March, but don’t worry, our government has got us covered. And we know they’ve never let us down before! Oh, that big shiny thing plummeting straight towards your new home? Don’t worry, nothing to see here.

Even if the satellite were to make a leap through the atmosphere, NASA doesn’t foresee much of a physical risk, though they still feel the need to have the Navy blast it out of the sky. The reason being the satellite’s hydrazine fuel, plus it’s just a great opportunity to blow something the fuck up. — Andrew Dobrow

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