Orbitwheel Portable Transportation: Dear God, Please Break My Neck

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Orbitwheel is basically like that game where children pull on either side of a poultry wishbone until it snaps, except using the human pelvis.

Orbitwheel is a portable transportation device, designed to combine the fun of skateboarding and inline skating. The company flaunts its large wheel radius and easily portable size.

Well which one is it, Orbitwheel? Large or portable? Make up your mind so I can fracture my femur as soon as possible.

Here is my biggest problem with Orbitwheel. They are marked for ages 10 and up. What ten-year-old is cruising around on something as dangerous as these things? Because I’ve gotta say, I need to meet them, and their parents, just so I can commend them on raising such a badass.

All jokes aside, the Orbitwheel really does look like a lot of fun. Would I let my ten-year-old ride it? Probably not. Mostly because I don’t have a 10-year-old. For $99.99 (let’s just say $100, because 99s are annoying), Orbitwheel can be yours. Just make sure your life insurance is up-to-date.

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