Who knows when the commies will start spying on us again. If he were still around, Joe McCarthy might recommend every man, woman, and child to own an Urban Combat Umbrella, an Umbrella with an attached target scope. While it’s by no stretch the first umbrella we’ve discussed, it might be the most useful.
Sick of people barging into you with their sopping wet umbrellas, making you even more wet than what you would be if you weren’t donning a rain protection device? Line them up in your scope and make shooting sound effects until your hearts content. — Andrew Dobrow