Nothing beats seeing the New York Giants take a huge shit on every team in the NFL and then watching Dan Marino freak out on ESPN. It’s just a wonderful thing. ESPN keeps a lot of us glued to the TV and now we have yet another reason not to buy our wives anniversary gifts: The Wi-Fi-enabled ESPN Ultimate Remote.
It has a screen with an Apple-esque menu system, built-in Wi-Fi, home theater management, control of IP-based equipment and one-touch access to Internet content. Oh, did I mention you can send text messages with this thing? Yeah, and you can browse the Internet and check your e-mail with it. Christ.
Now that every guy on the planet has a boner the size of Texas, you can rest soundly knowing that the Ultimate Remote will be available in time for Father’s Day. The only problem with this amazing device? The price: $300.