Here’s a great way to show those pledges in your fraternity that you don’t fuck around with that Microsoft bullshit. After you’re done making them build the Statue of Liberty out of mashed potatoes and you’ve had them fuck a sheep (with a rubber, of course), then it is time for them to get the paddle.
It’s not just any ordinary paddle; it’s an Apple paddle. Now, you can kiss Steve Jobs’ decrepit ass and fulfill your sadomasochistic desires, simultaneously! All it takes is a ping-pong paddle, some steady hands and a stencil.