The video game industry comes up with a lot of crap. But now and then, there comes a game which everyone holds their breathe for, anticipating its release like a child on his birthday waiting for gifts. Then the inevitable shoot down, when you realize all you’ve gotten for a whole year of being a spoiled brat is a lousy sweater. That is the feeling these would-be games give us. We’ve limited the list down to five secure choices that poked at our consciousness and caused our anxiety to run a muck. Hit the jump to dive in:
Star Fox 2 (SNES)
Some might say Star Fox‘s true successor was Star Fox 64. A superb game but is it really a direct sequel? I don’t think so. The true sequel to the original Star Fox does exist on the SNES, well…it did exist, or almost existed. Alright, fine- it exists, but you’ll never play it or buy it. So, what’s the game about? Who cares!? It’s a Star Fox game. You just assume Andross is back, waging intergalactic civil war in the Lylat system. And you, as Fox McCloud and his team of ragtag animal pilots, must save the universe because some hound named General Pepper ordered you to. That’s a game I would’ve spent money to play.
Unfortunately, Nintendo wanted to get that Nintendo 64 out onto the market as soon as possible. That would mean getting accustomed with developing three-dimensional games for it, not wasting time on expanding the older platform’s potential. That’s a shame, because if you thought Star Fox 64 was great, who knows what this game could of amounted to.
Duke Nukem Forever (PC)
Ah yes, Duke Nukem Forever. Try Duke Nukem Never. Forget everything you’ve ever seen in any trailer regarding this game, ever. It’s probably been so cut up by now, it’s gone from a FPS to Dating Sim. Six years after it’s announcement, 3D Realms was bold enough to remove the content from its site and are quoted as saying: “the screenshots and videos have been removed as they no longer represent the game’s current look and feel.” No shit, it’s been six years.
3D Realms apparently has never heard the phrase “let sleeping dogs lie,” because no matter how hard they try, this game will never see the light of day. I mean, did you catch the latest Duke Nukem trailer at E3 2008? Duke Nukem Trilogy for the handheld systems. Critical Mass, Chain Reaction, and Proving Grounds, three games in one video with no gameplay footage. None. It seems like Apogee Software is following in the same footsteps as 3D Realms. It’s got the same Duke Nukem theme we’ve heard in every other video and cheap explosions that looks like they were grabbed from Google images. Jesus, 3D Realms, get your fucking act together. You keep saying, “It’s time to kick ass and chew bubblegum,” but no one is sure when that time will ever come.
Starcraft: Ghost (Who knows)
The Terran Ghost was one of the more interesting characters in the Starcraft universe. Afterall, they could drop a nuke on a Zerg hive and evade disembowelment at the same time. So, Blizzard decides to make a tactical third person shooter out of the Ghost. The protagonist would’ve been Samus Aran meets Joanna Dark, portraying in no way the original Ghost in Starcraft. The concept of it was original, yet too many developers failed to materialize its vision. Blizzard claimed they needed to delve into more advanced hardware options, yet no news surfaces about this game and most are considering it a canceled project. I suppose Blizzard is busy with things like Diablo III and WotLK. Who cares about innovative storylines with gameplay to match when you’ve developed a cash cow like WoW.
True Fantasy Live Online (Xbox)
I’m MMORPG crazy. I play them all. When I first saw screenshots of this game’s gorgeous cel-shaded graphics back in 2002, I was awestruck. It made Everquest look like Jumping Flash!. I just had to play this game. Well, it never happened and it never will. On top of that, Uwe Boll still makes movies. Man, life couldn’t get any worse. Now, if I had had an original MMORPG for the Xbox that I could grind away my life on during my senior year of high school (because that’s what senior year is for), I could have gone places. Maybe even become the president. Or, at least the president of a small virtual village on Xbox Live.
TFLO‘s inevitable downfall was not caused by development obstacles alone, but rather a disagreement between developer Level-5 and Microsoft. Turns out Microsoft was too hasty and demanding. Level-5 couldn’t keep up with their attitude of corporate suits, business and money. To put it bluntly, Level-5 and Microsoft aren’t friends anymore.
Thrill Kill (PSX)
When Ted Ruven put gum in my shoes during gym in the ninth grade, I was upset. But when Thrill Kill didn’t come out because Electronic Arts didn’t want their image jaded for publishing such a violent video game (by 1998 standards), I was pissed. Disregarding the fact that EA’s image was already fucked from Madden, it wouldn’t even sell the rights to the game to other publishers. They’ll publish violent games like Loaded and American McGee’s Alice but won’t sully their visage publishing a game that, despite potentially bad publicity, could’ve been a strong competitor to violent games of its liking.
The game was simple: four players in a room fight to the death which eventually leads to fatality-like “thrill kills” that finish your opponent off in the most obscene manner possible. It’s almost like playing an Aki wrestling game with Mortal Kombat violence thrown in. Thankfully, the game leaked to the internet, allowing us all to bask in the vast amounts of blood it sheds. Sadly, it too, will never see the light of day or the glimmer of commercial success. Kind of funny considering games like Grand Theft Auto 4 get published without batting an eyelash in today’s society.