The super poly-deity Zeus was known for wielding lightning as a symbol for his all powerful ways. Now we can also harness Zeus’ lightning bolt, though for a much more humble task. We just want to open our damn letters without the piece of shit ripping to shreds by the time we get to it.
From the size of this thing, it seems the lightning bolt could also be used for other tasks slightly less stationary-themed, such as burgulary, homicide, and meat cleaving. We’ll use it to scrape between our teeth after a steak dinner. That would be sweet. — Andrew Dobrow